5 Practical Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

Author's Note: I've been married for less than 3 months, so this post is not for me or about me, nor should it be seen as a reflection of my marriage! :-)

This morning I saw an interview with the stars of the new ABC show "Betrayed." It's a show about two people who fall in love, even though they're both married to other people. Sam Champion joked that he wanted to run home and make sure his husband is happy! But it got me thinking: what can you do to spice your marriage up if you're in the Doldrums of Monogamy?

What I came up with might seem incredibly dull at first glance, but it all works. None of it is "listen to their needs" type stuff, because I don't know your relationship and what's good for mine might not be good for yours; so it's all stuff you can do. And it's not just for the ladies to do for their husbands, so feminists, when you get your panties in a twist over some of this stuff due to your own assumptions, just relax.

1. Spontaneously do your spouse's laundry. I'm completely serious. Whether you have laundry machines at your house or you go to a laundry facility, do your spouse's laundry for them. You don't have to make a big thing about it and promise to do it forever. It's just a nice gesture that saves them some time and you probably have enough time to take 20 minutes out of your day to make them smile.
Note: Do not tell your spouse, "I'd like to do your laundry for you" and then let them talk you out of it and then feel good about yourself for offering. No! Bad spouse! Just do it! 

2. Pick up your clutter. Then pick up your spouse's clutter. Clutter is something that happens to everyone. And it's like a disease: It starts with, "Well she left her stuff out so I can leave my stuff out" and then progresses to a MESS. If you're not good about picking up your clutter, just pick it up. Then pick up your spouse's clutter. I know it's not yours. I know it's not your dirty dish left on the end table or your half-empty cold cup of coffee left in the bathroom. Do it anyway. It will make them feel happy that you were mature enough to do the right thing even though you didn't have to.
Note: If you do this while they are home, and you do it half-heartedly while sighing loudly, that defeats the purpose. Just a little tip from me to you.

3. Cook a meal for your spouse and eat together. This is considered sweet in many cultures around the world. So do it! Go get groceries and cook a meal. If you guys have different palates, cook something your spouse will like, not your favorite meal that your spouse hates. Then eat together and don't turn the TV on. Talk! To each other. No phones.
Note: Bringing fast food home is not cooking.

4. Do the dishes even if it's not your turn. My husband and I have a routine: one of us cooks and the other one cleans up. It's the same routine my parents had when I was growing up and it's a good one. However, some nights if the person who is supposed to clean up is really busy or something, it would be so nice if you cleaned up after dinner! What else do you have going on? Seriously. What are you going to do while your spouse works? Watch TV? Text someone about what a poop that person is because you had to cook and clean? Tweet about it? Just do the damn dishes without complaint. Trust me, your spouse will notice and they will be happy.
Note: Keeping track of what dishes were supposed to be washed on the other person's night and instead were neglected is considered rude. Do not just let those dishes sit there until your spouse notices. This will cause more problems than it's worth, even though, yes, you have a very RIGHT point. So, actually, if you're more interested in being right than having a good relationship, ignore this.

5. Deal with the pet poop. It doesn't matter what kind of animal(s) you have; poop is gross. No one wants to be on poop patrol. So if you just want to do something nice for your spouse, instead of just ignoring the poop that's in your backyard from your dog or in the litter box from your cat or bunny or clouding up the aquarium from your fish and letting your spouse be the one to get tired of it first and clean it, just deal. Get it done. Then you have happy pets and a happy spouse!
Note: It's disgusting. But it's something that will make your spouse very happy.

How do these mundane things spice up a marriage, you ask?

Well, says I, surprising your spouse is always fun! Wouldn't you rather surprise them with something that makes a difference in your household than something that costs you money and a great deal of planning? I'm not advocating that you do one of these things for your spouse's next birthday, mind you. I'm just saying that you can turn an ordinary Thursday into a fun evening by changing it up! If you do something that saves your spouse time as well as makes them happy, and because of that you have an extra half hour in the evening, I'm sure that together you can come up with a good use of that time!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

5 Ways You Know You're Ready (for ANYTHING!)

I'm getting married in a couple of months (9 weeks and 5 days, to be exact!). My fiancé and I were talking the other day about the fact that neither one of us is where we thought we would be when we got married, but we still feel ready to get married. I got to thinking about how I know I'm ready to get married. Then I realized that the ways I know I'm ready to be married are applicable to really any situation!

1. Guts! It might sound cliché, but whenever I think about that moment I say "I do," I get butterflies in my stomach. Even when I just think about going on a date with Josh or holding hands with him, I still get butterflies! When you're still so excited after two and a half years, you know you're ready.

2. Good dreams. I have had dreams about the wedding for a couple of months now. Most of the dreams are good ones! I have had a couple where I messed up while making my dress and it doesn't look good, but over all, if you're having dreams that are great and you wake up feeling good about your decision, you know you're ready!

3. You're realistic. When I was little, I thought that getting married would be perfect and I would be happy all the time and I would never be annoyed or irritated with the person I was marrying and I would be running through fields of flowers and have no cares in the world. Ha! If you've realized that in the real world life is not a walk through the park, but it's still worth it, you know you're ready.

4. You're doing it for you. I am not marrying Josh because we've already told our families and put a down payment on the reception venue. I'm getting married because I want to and I know it will make me a better person. If you're doing something for yourself and not out of a sense of obligation to others, you know you're ready.

5. Commitment. I absolutely love our relationship and I can't wait to continue to work on it for the rest of my life. Knowing that you will stick with something no matter what happens means that you know you're ready.

So, any time you're thinking about doing something small or big, run through these quick checks just to be sure. And if you're not ready, don't do it--or at least proceed with caution!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi