Social Mini-Experiment: Does Appearance Actually Matter?

Starbucks.com

Good Monday morning, everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend! I had a fantastic weekend, but found it so hard to wake up this morning. Mondays sometimes turn into Starbucks days for me because I need that extra pick-me-up. Today's Starbucks run actually turned into a little social experiment. Here is the background of my incredibly un-scientific experiment:

I have been a Starbucks drinker for a long time (Those of you who are going to judge me for drinking Starbucks instead of supporting local business, please do so and get it out of your system. Okay...judging completed? Great! Keep reading.). A year ago I was doing weekly professional observations at a local middle school. I had to be there around 7:30am each week and I started making a habit of dropping by the closest Starbucks in an act of self-bribery to get myself out of bed. I was always dressed very well since I was on my way to a professional engagement. I got used to a variety of free items the guys at Starbucks would give me: free coffee upgrade, free banana bread, free frappuccinos, free muffins, etc. I didn't really think much of it, until my fiancé told me that it isn't normal, and I was getting "special treatment" because of the way I looked. I laughed it off, thinking he was just being sweet or something. I attributed my getting free things to the fact that I'm a morning person and I'm quite personable in the early hours of the day. I always asked how the guys were and was very pleasant. Just to clarify: I never flirted with them, I'm just a conversational person.

But then I got to thinking about it.

I moved up to the Cincinnati area a few months ago. No more Starbucks where the guys who work there have gotten to know me. A couple weeks ago I had to go deal with some computer problems at the Apple store. I was acutely aware of the fact that there was a Starbucks in the mall close to the Apple store. I dressed nicely: jeans, heels, cute top, hair pulled back, natural but accentuating makeup. I had to leave my computer at the store for a while, so I wandered down to Starbucks. There were two people working there: a guy and a girl. I waited until the guy was closest to the register, had a friendly conversation with him, and then asked for a coffee and a bagel--and got free cream cheese! The very next day, my computer messed up again and I had to take it back. And I dressed up again: wedges, jeans, Michael Kors top, hair up again, makeup edgier than yesterday, but not too much. Again, I had to leave my computer at the store for an hour, so I went back to the same Starbucks. The same guy was working there (different girl, I think), I asked for the same order, and got free cream cheese again. When I told my fiancé about this he was not surprised at all, and repeated what he had told me a year ago: that I was getting free stuff because of the way I looked. I was determined to prove him wrong.

This morning I was in yoga pants, sneakers, and a hoodie, with my hair in a ponytail and no makeup. I went to Starbucks, was my usual charming self, and didn't get any free stuff. I actually stepped outside my typical personality and tried to engage the male barista in more of a conversation than I normally do. I asked if he had had a good weekend. He looked at me, said, "sure," and went back to the making of my drink. At the other Starbucks the male barista and I had chatted for a good couple of minutes. This guy would barely even talk to me. I got my coffee and left.

So. I was talking to my fiancé about this little social experiment this morning before I conducted it; he was already assuming that today was going to go exactly how it actually went. He said that all it shows is a few thousand years of males being hardwired to pay special attention to the attractive females and ignore the ones who aren't "hot." I think this experiment does show that, although, for the record, I look stunning in yoga pants! ;) But when I was growing up, I was always told that "looks don't matter" and "it's what's inside your head that counts." Is it? I'm not so sure. I think it's important to be intelligent, because if you're just some bimbo with no brains, even if you are super-hot, you won't get an extraordinarily high-profile job because you can't handle it and you have no idea what's going on. But look at these women who are CEOs and business owners. They're attractive women.

Andrea Jung, Chairman and CEO Avon

Safra Catz, President and CFO Oracle

Angela Braly, President, Chairman, and CEO
Wellpoint Health Insurance

Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO PepsiCo.

Would they have gotten this far if they hadn't been attractive? I would love to say, "Yes, it's about the hard work they put in, not their looks," but is it? I'm sure they all have put in hard work, but they're all also attractive. 

So, in this very small un-scientific look at society, appearance trumped personality. It's kind of too bad it turned out like this, in my opinion. I'm not saying I wish I'd gotten free stuff, because that isn't really what matters; I just wish that personality had trumped appearance. But, like my fiancé said, it's a four thousand year old hardwiring problem in men that we are trying change with a one hundred year old feminist movement. 

I think this is something that women, especially "progressive" women, don't want to acknowledge. But it's there. So, ladies, I kind of feel like I'm just saying something I think we've all felt even though we're being told otherwise: "Looks do matter."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi