5 Easy Ways to Feel Great on International Women's Day

Happy International Women's Day! In honor of today, here are 5 ways to feel amazing without going through too much trouble.

1. Give yourself a quick manicure. If you have a favorite color of nail polish, break it out! If you don't like nail polish that's okay, too! Give yourself a nail soak, use an orange stick to *gently* push back your cuticles, and then take a nail file to the rough edges of your nails. Clean and even nails are a great way to feel great in 5 minutes!

2. Do 15 minutes of yoga. In silence. What woman isn't overwhelmed?! Turn off the TV, radio, and iPod, grab your yoga mat, and breathe in a quick, calming workout!

3. Straighten your house in 3 songs. Whether you're a working woman, stay-at-home mom, or somewhere in between, a lot of us have the instinct of wanting a clean house but we really don't like cleaning. Put Pandora on your favorite station, crank it up, and straighten up your house for three songs. You'll be surprised at how much it actually helps!

4. Do something for only yourself. We tend to spend our lives helping everyone around us and ignoring ourselves. What is the one thing you used to do by yourself that you miss most from when you were single or before you had kids or before you got a job? Take 10 minutes and do it!

5. Do something for the women you love. We do help the people around us, and we like doing it! So today, do something for the women in your life that you love. Maybe a phone call, a text, or an email just to see how they're doing would be nice. Or if you want to step it up, flowers or chocolate are always appreciated. Well, almost always...find out what that woman's stance on chocolate is before you give her a box of it! ;-)

Have a wonderful day celebrating yourself and the women in your life!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Cameron Russell: A Role Model

Cameron Russell (photo: Twitter)

Cameron Russell is a Victoria's Secret angel. She's walked in runway shows, done print ads, and starred in commercials for the world's largest lingerie company. She's also worked for some of my favorite designers: Vivienne Westwood, Chanel, Michael Kors, Marc Jacobs, and Dolce and Gabbana.

Cameron did a TED talk about being a highly successful model. This is the link: http://www.ted.com/talks/cameron_russell. I never put links in my pieces, but I wanted to today to draw your attention to it--it's a great talk. Please go watch it right now! Then come back and read the rest of this piece. ;-)

In this talk, Cameron talks about how she's won the "genetic lottery." She's tall, she's thin, she's white. Our society has decided that when it comes to appearances, those are the things that matter. Cameron mentions that she's gotten out of traffic tickets because of her looks as well as gotten free items when she's forgotten her money.  Those are the things she has been, as she puts it, "cashing in" on.

Cameron talked about and showed pictures of the amount of work that professionals do on her to get the photos they want. Do they edit photos? Yes. But she also talks about the hair, makeup, clothes, and photography that go into making the photos we see. Honestly, I probably wouldn't recognize her if I passed her on the street. She's gorgeous in her every day photos, but she doesn't look anything like the cover girl photos that thousands of people see. For more on photo editing, check out this post I wrote a few months ago.

Cameron mentioned that little girls come up to her and tell her that they want to be models when they grow up. Cameron's first question to the kids is, "Why? You can be anything." She says that she is in that top echelon of girls with "the skinniest thighs, the shiniest hair," but she's still incredibly insecure about the way she looks. She has to think about the way she looks every day.

Cameron graduated from Columbia University. She is realistic that she won't be able to model forever. She's already 25, which means she's already nearing the end of her modeling career. I have a feeling we'll be hearing great things from her.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Women's Appearances in American Society

On Friday I watched "Katie," Katie Couric's new talk show on ABC. I am an infrequent viewer of the show, mostly because I'm so tired of television by that time of day, but I saw a commercial about Friday's topic: a woman who gave up makeup and hairstyling for a year; so I had to watch!

The show was great--Phoebe Hyde Baker gave up makeup and hairstyling for a year. The entire audience of "Katie" took their makeup off in solidarity and so did Katie, herself! She talked about makeup and how much time and money women in our society spend on it. They also talked about the fact that it is actually important in our society for women to look a certain way to be successful.

As I watched the show, I realized that I've already written about three of these topics.

Katie did an experiment in which one of here staff went on the street all glammed up and asked for directions or use of their cell phones from strangers. Then she did the same thing with sweat pants, no makeup, a big coat, and sneakers on. Was there a difference in the way she was treated? Yes there was--same as the results of my own experiment back in October:
Social Mini-Experiment: Does Appearance Actually Matter?

On Katie's website for a while (I can't find it anymore, for some reason) there was a "Beauty Wealth Calculator" that you could use figure out how much money you spend on your looks each year, as well as how much money you've spent accumulating your "beauty wealth." It was fascinating! It reminded me of another piece I wrote in October:
How Much Do Celebrities Spend on Their Looks?

One of Katie's guests was a woman who has worked in the fashion magazine industry for years. They showed a photo of a model on the runway--and then a print ad of the same model. Vastly different looks! In the print ad they had edited the photo to the point that she looked deformed, she was so skinny. This point, in my opinion, wasn't touched on enough during the show (but, really, they had enough material in that show for an entire week of shows!), so I thought I'd pull this piece out of the archives again. It's the most popular piece I've written to date.
Mini-Experiment: Swimsuit Photo Retouching

I absolutely loved Katie's show on Friday! It was geared toward making women feel great about themselves and learning how to work with what they have in their appearance instead of putting a mask on every day. There were beautiful stories shared about personal victories and growth. There was courage shown by Katie and everyone there with them not wearing makeup. It was fantastic to see women baring their faces on that stage and talking about how we need to overcome so much more than what we usually talk about.

One of the things I was most intrigued by was that this "Au Naturale" show aired the day before the Miss America 2013 beauty pageant. Miss Montana, Alexis Wineman, has Aspberger's syndrome and wants to be an art therapist. Miss Washington DC, Allyn Rose, is getting a double mastectomy to prevent her family's long history of breast cancer from taking her life. Miss Iowa, Mariah Cary, has tourettes syndrome. But Miss New York won. She wants to get a degree in cosmetic and fragrance marketing. And is from Alabama. And doesn't embody "Brooklyn" any more than I do.

It blew my mind that there were (at least) three very real women baring themselves (not only in the swimsuit competition) on that stage who were passed over for a tap dancer posing as a Brooklynite. Allyn Rose (DC), a guest on "Katie" back in the fall (I watched that episode, too!), didn't even make the semi-finals. Alexis Wineman (MT) won the "America's Choice" contest, but didn't make it past the top 15. Mariah Cary (IA) came in fifth.

I think the "Au Naturale" episode of "Katie" can teach us all about how women need to take stock in what they are really about. I think if the judges of Miss America hadn't been interviewing the contestants and watching their routines on Friday but had watched Katie's show instead, the outcome of Saturday night would have been different. Being real and loving who you are is the most important thing, and I think--no, I know--that if more celebrities like Katie bring it into the headlines, this will change. Women will feel less threatened by society to focus so much on their appearances and, as a byproduct, will have more time and money to spend on other things that make them happy and successful.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

The American Dream: Where Does Money Come In?

Last night the winning numbers for the largest Powerball jackpot of all time were announced. There were two winners and it's all over the news this morning. Everyone can't wait for the winners to come forward so we can see what they decide to do with the money.

I got to thinking about this: these people might be wonderful people with great intentions doing amazing things, but no one has heard of them; until now. Now that they have won a lot of money, suddenly the press will be watching what they do. Thinking about this was a stark realization for me: money gives you power.

I know that this is not exactly a bombshell; "money is power" is a saying that is common. But it made me sad to realize this. I feel like it's a very different "American Dream" than the one my ancestors had. It used to be that the American Dream was to work hard and earn enough money to provide for your family. Now, the American Dream (as I see it) is to have excess and not necessarily have to work hard for it.

I live the American Dream every day by fighting through the pain, the dizziness, the emotional instability, and everything else that comes with fibromyalgia. I live the American Dream by helping the victims of Superstorm Sandy even though I don't know them. I live the American Dream by taking an active part in my democracy. I live the American Dream by continuing to write even if I know only 50 people a day are reading what I write. I live the American Dream by continuing to have hope even while I receive rejection letters from all the sites I write to asking if they'll consider having me as a contributing writer. I live the American Dream by not giving up.

I want to be powerful before I get a lot of money. I want to be the voice of women who are struggling with fibromyalgia and anorexia and can't work. I want to inspire other people who have dreams and have to work to get them. I want to be the new face of the American Dream.

Getting interviewed as I left the polling location on Election Day.

"Be the change you wish to be in the world." --Gandhi

Election 2012: Victories Beyond the White House

What a night! I am so incredibly happy to have volunteered for President Obama for the last few months; honored to have been a part of this historical election.

These are the historic results of the night (as they're being reported now):

• The U.S. re-elected the first African-American president.
• Three more states passed marriage equality acts (Maine, Maryland, Washington).
• At least 19 women will serve in the U.S. Senate, a record number (20, if ND elects Heidi Heitkamp).
• The first openly lesbian U.S. senator was elected: Tammy Baldwin from Wisconsin.
• The first openly bisexual U.S. representative is projected to be elected: Kyrsten Sinema from Arizona.
• Two states legalized recreational use of marijuana (Colorado, Washington).
• This is the first time since 1801-1825 that we have had three two-term presidents in a row.

For the record, I am incredibly thrilled about the marriage equality laws that got passed last night, but I think it's pathetic that we are voting on other people's rights in the 21st century. The fact that the first openly lesbian senator was just elected, but the state that she represents (WI) banned same-sex marriage in 2006, is wrong. Marriage was defined as "one man and one woman" in Arizona in 2008, which means if Sinema is elected to the House, she will also represent a state that wouldn't support her if she fell in love with a woman and wanted to get married.

As for President Obama, I think it is great that as the first African-American to get elected president he got re-elected. I feel like race wasn't really allowed to be talked about in this election, and maybe I' not "allowed" to talk about it now, but I think it's important. I think that it proves to ourselves and the world that we do care about the content of someone's character more than the color of someone's skin. I don't know if it would have been said outright or not if Obama had lost, but I really feel like the far right would have ended up subtly hinting that we need to go back to the "traditional America." They (FOX News) did mention "traditional America" yesterday, when they realized that there are more people of minority races than white people in the U.S. now.

Nineteen or twenty women in the Senate is a record? That's only a fifth of the members! I think it's great that more women are getting elected to Congress, but we need to push that number up. Women make up more than half of this country's population; we need adequate representation in Washington.

I don't have an opinion on recreational marijuana use. It is my view that it should be allowed for medical purposes, but beyond that I don't see a reason for it. Just because I don't see a need for it, however, doesn't mean that I really care one way or another if other people use it.

Overall, this was an incredible campaign (while I am aware that there were problems on both sides, I'm spending today being happy about the win; there's time for criticism later). I was in tears last night when our president was re-elected. I was so overwhelmed. This is the most emotionally invested I have ever been in a political campaign, and it paid off! All the hours spent calling people, talking to people, getting up early, and going to bed late paid off. Listening to President Obama's victory speech last night made me feel delighted, honored, and proud to be an American.

I leave you with my favorite quote from last night's victory speech and a photo:
"I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting."

I got interviewed on my way out of the polls.
Great way to end the campaign!

"Be the change you wish to be in the world." --Gandhi

Women: Take the Chip Off Your Shoulder

This morning, I saw a story about Honda making a car called "Honda Fit She's"--marketed exclusively toward women. It's pink. The apostrophe in "She's" is a heart. It's apparently supposed to be "adult cute", according to the designers. The car also comes in brown and white, the "color of eyeshadow". Apparently, it's only being marketed in Japan. So, I went to the Japanese Honda site and this is their ad for the Fit She's. Very pink and very cutesy.

Now, obviously Japanese culture is different than American culture. The "cute" factor is incredibly amped up in Japan; or maybe it's massively down-played in the States. When I saw the story about the Fit She's, my immediate reaction was, "That's terrible! It's so demeaning. Not all women like pink. And the heart?! Come on, I'm not 16." Then I got to thinking about it. Why shouldn't the car market try to appeal to women? Almost all the other markets try to attract a specific set of people, don't they? I looked at the ads during the first hour of "Good Morning America" (68% of GMA's viewers are women) to see which companies were obviously trying to appeal to women.

Out of 55 total ads during the first hour, I felt that 34 of them were geared toward women. There were 14 campaign ads (3 of which were appealing to women), 9 food ads (6 of which included a mom with her kids; 3 of which were coffee ads), 6 beauty product ads, 1 each for "Katie" and "Ellen", and some clothing and appliance ads.

So, if 62% of the ads on GMA were trying to appeal to the female market, why did I feel so weird about the Honda Fit She's being "for women?" Since I had to go back through my DVR to re-watch all the ads to count them, I had some time to think about this.

I think American women have gotten used to the notion that we can hold our own and be as good as, or better, than men. While this may or may not be true in different areas, it does not mean that we are the same as men. I know a bunch of my "feminist" friends are not going to be happy about that statement, but it's true. And why would we want to be the same as men? We get to be women!

I feel like many of the women who complain about not being treated the "same" as men are also the ones who say that "men are sh!t." "Chivalry is dead" is a common saying among "successful" women. Maybe it's dead because super-feminist women have killed it. Half the time a guy holds the door for us, we say "thank you;" but the other half of the time, we get upset that he is treating us like women and being polite to us, instead of letting us "do it ourselves." God forbid a guy be polite.

We have a huge double standard going on here. We want the same treatment as men, but we want our political candidates to cater to the "women's vote." We want the same respect that men get, but the way many women bitch and complain about the lack of respect leaves men (and other women) disgusted. We want to be equal to men, but then we're upset when men don't put us on a pedestal and hold the door for us.

Going back to the Honda Fit She's topic, while I think the main market for a pink car with a heart on it in the States would be 16-year-old girls with rich daddies, I don't think Honda should be faulted for doing what companies' marketing teams are supposed to do best: find their target consumer and do whatever it takes to get that consumer to buy their product. And, obviously, Honda has done that. The Honda Fit She's is selling in Japan, but it's not even on the market here, because American women (over all) wouldn't make it worth Honda's time and money.

So, women, this morning I felt that chip on my shoulder; the chip that I feel I have to have to keep up with men, or prove myself, or whatever silly reason. Take the chip off today. Leave it at home. Enjoy being a woman today. If that includes allowing men to be kind to you, let it happen. If it includes realizing, not resenting, but realizing that you wear makeup for yourself and not the "male dominated society," let it happen. Am I saying "let guys treat you like crap today"? No. I'm saying, embrace your femininity without putting men down or blaming them for the choices you, a liberated woman, make.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Women's Reactions to Presidential Debate

This morning, like every morning, I watched "Good Morning America." Not surprisingly, last night's presidential debate was the top story. Interestingly, both Elizabeth Vargas (in for Robin Roberts) and Lara Spencer said that they were a little "taken aback" by both candidates' demeanors. Vargas said, "As a woman...it was a little much. The interrupting and talking over [each other] drove me a little crazy." George Stephanopoulos replied, "A point I've heard a lot. A lot of women turned off by that." Later in the show when Vargas was talking to the political analysts about the debate, she said, "Lara and I were talking, Beanna and I were talking, a lot of other women are agreeing with this assessment...they both seemed a tad aggressive, overly aggressive toward each other." Matthew Dowd, one of the political contributors replied, "You have to be strong and forceful without offending people." Vargas countered, "When they're both trying to get the female vote, I wondered if they alienated a lot of the women out there."

I have been accused of being one-sided in my presentations of political issues, so I immediately turned to Fox News. Fox was not talking about women's reactions to the debate at all. Frank Luntz was talking to "undecided" voters in Nevada and all but one said that Romney was "substantive," "pleasantly surprising," and "believable." The man who didn't say something "nice" about Romney said he was "average." Luntz ignored that man and, with a gesture of an open hand, asked the seven or so voters who said positive things about Romney why they liked what they heard. They gave their reasons and Luntz listened with eye contact and head nodding. Luntz then turned to the man who had said what he had heard was "average," pointed with a finger, not an open face-up palm, at him, and said, "Now you didn't hear that. Why." It was hardly a question. Luntz turned away with his eyes on the floor and didn't respond to the voter's answer, which was, "I didn't hear anything new." Needless to say, Luntz's obvious disregard for a voter who isn't sure if Romney is our country's savior or not really turned me off.

In terms of what I heard on the news, as a woman, I appreciate that ABC actually talked about the women's opinions. I'm not sure if I agree with it, but at least they talked about it. Fox didn't. I actually went to foxnews.com to see if they had any women's reactions that maybe I had missed; they didn't have one story on women in regards to the debate.

In terms of what I saw in the debate last night, as a woman, I didn't see anything wrong with the candidates' demeanors at all. I like the fact that Obama pushed the envelope. He was aggressive. He did interrupt Romney to correct his statements that were blatant lies. I want a President and a Commander-in-Chief who is aggressive. It is hardwired in women to want someone who will protect us, and I think Obama will protect me and my rights.

As a woman, what offended me most last night was Romney still not saying whether he would have signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act or not. The fact that Romney will not say that women deserve to earn the same pay that men earn for doing the same job is extremely offensive to me. Why should I believe in someone who doesn't believe in my rights as a woman? Why should I vote for someone who doesn't necessarily think that men and I should have equal pay for equal work?

Wow--"equal pay for equal work..." That echoes the civil rights movement. We are still having to fight for civil rights even now in the 21st century. To me, this is an incredibly sad reality. How is it possible that the same demographic that runs around thinking that America is the best country in the world is also the same demographic that supports a candidate who will not commit to equal rights for women? We are not the #1 country in the world, if I can't expect the same treatment that men receive. We are not the best country in the world, if I still have to be concerned about my future children having equal rights.

Come on, America. Let's support a candidate who supports our country's women. Women are 51% of this country's vote. How is it possible in the 21st century that a candidate who doesn't support over half of the country's voters, even has a shot at taking the White House? Let's have some pride.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

The Modern Woman: How Do You Define Being a Woman?

I've been a "feminist" my whole life. I was raised believing that women can do anything we want to do, and I have always expected that I would take the world by storm. I've always played with the boys and demanded nothing less than being better than them. To me, being a 21st century woman meant being a powerhouse career woman and defying all odds to beat the men.

This year is definitely not going how I expected it would go. I am not working a full-time job because I'm taking the year to learn how to cope with fibromyalgia and what my body needs to be healthy while it's in pain. I'm writing this blog and contributing to another site, as well as working on the Obama campaign. I live with my fiancé who is a high school teacher and when we moved in together, we came to the very practical agreement that I would do most of the housework, since he works full time.

To be completely honest, when it started, I loved it! I thought it was fun because we had just moved up here and everything was new. I was setting up house and playing the role of the 1950s housewife. It was fun, sending Josh off to work, then cleaning and making the house look nice while he was gone, and kissing him when he got home with dinner simmering on the stove. That lasted about two weeks.

I suddenly realized in mid-August that I was relying on a man to bring in money and I was keeping his house. I went through a major identity crisis. What had happened to the career-driven woman from my past? Was it wrong for me to enjoy staying home and making it look nice? Had I completely wasted the last five years in college getting a degree I'm not using? Was realizing that I want to have kids and be a stay-at-home mom good enough for me? What does "good enough" mean? It was the worst month I've ever had! I was engaged to a wonderful man who supports me doing anything (something I've always wanted), but I wasn't happy, because I couldn't figure out what I wanted.

Now, two months later, after weekly psychologist visits and continued support from Josh, as well as the success of this blog, I am comfortable with where I am. Is being a homemaker where I saw myself at 23? No way. But we can't ever imagine the curve balls life will throw us. I was diagnosed in January with fibromyalgia--how would I have ever guessed that this would happen to me? It's still hard sometimes, seeing Josh with his own classroom and program, because sometimes I feel like that's where I should be, too; but I'm learning to be comfortable with myself and my circumstances, and that's something that when I wanted to be a career woman I had never thought of at all. One thing I have found is that the more comfortable I get with myself, the less pain I'm in.

I absolutely can't wait to have kids and stay home with them*. I love having a clean house. I enjoy making food. I really like writing this blog. I love the fact that I don't have to miss work because I'm feeling bad on a particular day; I just relax and maybe the dusting doesn't get done that day.

I don't think the dream of being a powerhouse woman is gone at all. I just think that the perception of what a "powerhouse woman" is, has changed. I am going to be the best mom ever (except for my mom, of course!). I am working on having a successful "from home" blogging career. This blog is going better than I ever expected! It's crazy! I have over 3600 hits in less than 6 weeks! I look forward to being one of the logistics coordinators for the Obama campaign during GOTV in November. After the election, I can't wait to volunteer for a different non-profit organization. And, most of all, I love the fact that I'm getting healthier. I am proving that even though fibromyalgia can change the course of your life and take you where you never expected to go, you can make it something great and thrive. I am a powerhouse woman. I have to take naps and sit down a lot, but I honestly believe that I am on my way to being exactly who I never knew I wanted to be. :)

So, I guess I am a bit of a 1950s girl, but you know what? Being a 21st century woman means that you get to define what being a woman is for yourself. And I love being this definition of "woman" I've chosen for myself.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

*For all of you freaking out and wondering if I'm pregnant, I'm not. :) We are not having kids for a long time. I'm just looking forward to it when it does happen.

Three Personal Reasons I Support President Obama

Last night, Mitt Romney performed well in the first presidential debate. He was well prepared and was finally specific on some of his policies. President Obama seemed tired and annoyed. It's no secret that I've been working for the Obama campaign for the last month and last night I got a lot of texts, emails, and messages about how Obama was "dominated" by Romney and asking why I support President Obama when Romney is such a "clear choice." Here are a few reasons why President Obama has personally made my life better in his first term.

First, I am a woman.

• Obama signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act as the first bill he signed of his first term. Mitt Romney still refuses to answer whether or not he would have signed this bill. I can't imagine being a woman and voting for someone who refuses to answer whether or not he thinks I should get equal pay for equal work.
• Under Obamacare, starting in 2014, I will no longer have to pay more for my health insurance than men pay. If Romney is elected and gets rid of Obamacare, I will continue to have to pay more for my health insurance than men simply because I am a woman.
• Under Obamacare, my birth control is covered. I pay a fraction of what I used to pay to get my prescription birth control. I have had a lot of people ask me, "Why should I pay for your birth control? Just don't have sex." Here's the thing: people are going to have sex whether they are on birth control or not. I think it's more important to keep women who can't afford to have children from getting pregnant, instead of complaining about the kids being born into poverty and the "irresponsibility" of the mothers.
• Mitt Romney is going to make all abortions illegal. There will be no exceptions for pregnancies that occurred because of rape or incest. I have a friend who was raped at 17 and became pregnant. She ended up miscarrying, but was planning on getting an abortion because she was absolutely not in a place financially or physically where she could have had the child. What would have happened to her if she hadn't miscarried and abortion wasn't legal? Making abortions illegal is terrifying because if women can't get them safely and legally, they will get them illegally or try to perform them themselves. This is really scary because it is going to put many more women at risk for infections, diseases from unclean instruments, and death than if abortion was legal and they could have it done safely. Last night Romney said that he didn't want a board of people making decisions about his healthcare (in regard to Obamacare). I don't want him making decisions about my healthcare.

Second, I am someone who is currently benefiting from Obamacare.

• Last night, Romney said that his plan would allow young people up to 26 years old to stay on their parents' health insurance plans--if their private health insurance company allowed it. I know that before Obamacare was passed my parents' health insurance plan did not allow that. I am 23 years old and unemployed. Now, because of Obamacare, I get to stay on my parents' plan and I have health insurance.
• Last night, Romney said that his plan would make it possible for people with pre-existing conditions to have insurance--if they were already on an insurance plan that allows that. I know that my parents' health insurance plan doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. I don't know how I could find insurance while being unemployed that I can afford that would cover pre-existing conditions. Because of Obamacare, I will get to have health insurance even though I have a pre-existing condition.

Third, I am part of the LGBT community and so is my older sister, who was married to her wife in 2008 when it was legal in San Francisco.

• Obama supports same-sex marriage. Romney is going to amend the constitution to ban same-sex marriage.
• Obama repealed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" so now people can serve their country without hiding a part of who they are.
• Obama made it possible for my sister to visit her wife in the hospital. Romney would take that right away.
• Mitt Romney favors allowing states to ban civil unions, which means that people of the LGBT community would not be allowed to even be in a union. This is a problem because this affects LGBT couples' health insurance, life insurance, adoption plans, visitation rights, and also the right that they don't have just because they are in the LGBT community: to marry the person you love.

This is the second sentence of our Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, 

that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, 

that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Obviously, it was written at a time when only men (white men who owned property) were "created equal." But times have changed. If these rights are "self-evident" then why are we (women and the LGBT community) having to fight so hard to get our rights? President Obama has, and is going to continue to finally grant us our "unalienable Rights." If Romney is elected, we, the mothers, daughters, sisters, and leaders of the community, will not get the self-evident truths upon which our country was founded.

I agree: this is a very clear choice.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Sources for this article include:

women.barackobama.com

lgbt.barackobama.com

gobackteam.com

barackobama.com/truthteam

Social Mini-Experiment: Does Appearance Actually Matter?

Starbucks.com

Good Monday morning, everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend! I had a fantastic weekend, but found it so hard to wake up this morning. Mondays sometimes turn into Starbucks days for me because I need that extra pick-me-up. Today's Starbucks run actually turned into a little social experiment. Here is the background of my incredibly un-scientific experiment:

I have been a Starbucks drinker for a long time (Those of you who are going to judge me for drinking Starbucks instead of supporting local business, please do so and get it out of your system. Okay...judging completed? Great! Keep reading.). A year ago I was doing weekly professional observations at a local middle school. I had to be there around 7:30am each week and I started making a habit of dropping by the closest Starbucks in an act of self-bribery to get myself out of bed. I was always dressed very well since I was on my way to a professional engagement. I got used to a variety of free items the guys at Starbucks would give me: free coffee upgrade, free banana bread, free frappuccinos, free muffins, etc. I didn't really think much of it, until my fiancé told me that it isn't normal, and I was getting "special treatment" because of the way I looked. I laughed it off, thinking he was just being sweet or something. I attributed my getting free things to the fact that I'm a morning person and I'm quite personable in the early hours of the day. I always asked how the guys were and was very pleasant. Just to clarify: I never flirted with them, I'm just a conversational person.

But then I got to thinking about it.

I moved up to the Cincinnati area a few months ago. No more Starbucks where the guys who work there have gotten to know me. A couple weeks ago I had to go deal with some computer problems at the Apple store. I was acutely aware of the fact that there was a Starbucks in the mall close to the Apple store. I dressed nicely: jeans, heels, cute top, hair pulled back, natural but accentuating makeup. I had to leave my computer at the store for a while, so I wandered down to Starbucks. There were two people working there: a guy and a girl. I waited until the guy was closest to the register, had a friendly conversation with him, and then asked for a coffee and a bagel--and got free cream cheese! The very next day, my computer messed up again and I had to take it back. And I dressed up again: wedges, jeans, Michael Kors top, hair up again, makeup edgier than yesterday, but not too much. Again, I had to leave my computer at the store for an hour, so I went back to the same Starbucks. The same guy was working there (different girl, I think), I asked for the same order, and got free cream cheese again. When I told my fiancé about this he was not surprised at all, and repeated what he had told me a year ago: that I was getting free stuff because of the way I looked. I was determined to prove him wrong.

This morning I was in yoga pants, sneakers, and a hoodie, with my hair in a ponytail and no makeup. I went to Starbucks, was my usual charming self, and didn't get any free stuff. I actually stepped outside my typical personality and tried to engage the male barista in more of a conversation than I normally do. I asked if he had had a good weekend. He looked at me, said, "sure," and went back to the making of my drink. At the other Starbucks the male barista and I had chatted for a good couple of minutes. This guy would barely even talk to me. I got my coffee and left.

So. I was talking to my fiancé about this little social experiment this morning before I conducted it; he was already assuming that today was going to go exactly how it actually went. He said that all it shows is a few thousand years of males being hardwired to pay special attention to the attractive females and ignore the ones who aren't "hot." I think this experiment does show that, although, for the record, I look stunning in yoga pants! ;) But when I was growing up, I was always told that "looks don't matter" and "it's what's inside your head that counts." Is it? I'm not so sure. I think it's important to be intelligent, because if you're just some bimbo with no brains, even if you are super-hot, you won't get an extraordinarily high-profile job because you can't handle it and you have no idea what's going on. But look at these women who are CEOs and business owners. They're attractive women.

Andrea Jung, Chairman and CEO Avon

Safra Catz, President and CFO Oracle

Angela Braly, President, Chairman, and CEO
Wellpoint Health Insurance

Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO PepsiCo.

Would they have gotten this far if they hadn't been attractive? I would love to say, "Yes, it's about the hard work they put in, not their looks," but is it? I'm sure they all have put in hard work, but they're all also attractive. 

So, in this very small un-scientific look at society, appearance trumped personality. It's kind of too bad it turned out like this, in my opinion. I'm not saying I wish I'd gotten free stuff, because that isn't really what matters; I just wish that personality had trumped appearance. But, like my fiancé said, it's a four thousand year old hardwiring problem in men that we are trying change with a one hundred year old feminist movement. 

I think this is something that women, especially "progressive" women, don't want to acknowledge. But it's there. So, ladies, I kind of feel like I'm just saying something I think we've all felt even though we're being told otherwise: "Looks do matter."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi