The Modern Woman: How Do You Define Being a Woman?

I've been a "feminist" my whole life. I was raised believing that women can do anything we want to do, and I have always expected that I would take the world by storm. I've always played with the boys and demanded nothing less than being better than them. To me, being a 21st century woman meant being a powerhouse career woman and defying all odds to beat the men.

This year is definitely not going how I expected it would go. I am not working a full-time job because I'm taking the year to learn how to cope with fibromyalgia and what my body needs to be healthy while it's in pain. I'm writing this blog and contributing to another site, as well as working on the Obama campaign. I live with my fiancé who is a high school teacher and when we moved in together, we came to the very practical agreement that I would do most of the housework, since he works full time.

To be completely honest, when it started, I loved it! I thought it was fun because we had just moved up here and everything was new. I was setting up house and playing the role of the 1950s housewife. It was fun, sending Josh off to work, then cleaning and making the house look nice while he was gone, and kissing him when he got home with dinner simmering on the stove. That lasted about two weeks.

I suddenly realized in mid-August that I was relying on a man to bring in money and I was keeping his house. I went through a major identity crisis. What had happened to the career-driven woman from my past? Was it wrong for me to enjoy staying home and making it look nice? Had I completely wasted the last five years in college getting a degree I'm not using? Was realizing that I want to have kids and be a stay-at-home mom good enough for me? What does "good enough" mean? It was the worst month I've ever had! I was engaged to a wonderful man who supports me doing anything (something I've always wanted), but I wasn't happy, because I couldn't figure out what I wanted.

Now, two months later, after weekly psychologist visits and continued support from Josh, as well as the success of this blog, I am comfortable with where I am. Is being a homemaker where I saw myself at 23? No way. But we can't ever imagine the curve balls life will throw us. I was diagnosed in January with fibromyalgia--how would I have ever guessed that this would happen to me? It's still hard sometimes, seeing Josh with his own classroom and program, because sometimes I feel like that's where I should be, too; but I'm learning to be comfortable with myself and my circumstances, and that's something that when I wanted to be a career woman I had never thought of at all. One thing I have found is that the more comfortable I get with myself, the less pain I'm in.

I absolutely can't wait to have kids and stay home with them*. I love having a clean house. I enjoy making food. I really like writing this blog. I love the fact that I don't have to miss work because I'm feeling bad on a particular day; I just relax and maybe the dusting doesn't get done that day.

I don't think the dream of being a powerhouse woman is gone at all. I just think that the perception of what a "powerhouse woman" is, has changed. I am going to be the best mom ever (except for my mom, of course!). I am working on having a successful "from home" blogging career. This blog is going better than I ever expected! It's crazy! I have over 3600 hits in less than 6 weeks! I look forward to being one of the logistics coordinators for the Obama campaign during GOTV in November. After the election, I can't wait to volunteer for a different non-profit organization. And, most of all, I love the fact that I'm getting healthier. I am proving that even though fibromyalgia can change the course of your life and take you where you never expected to go, you can make it something great and thrive. I am a powerhouse woman. I have to take naps and sit down a lot, but I honestly believe that I am on my way to being exactly who I never knew I wanted to be. :)

So, I guess I am a bit of a 1950s girl, but you know what? Being a 21st century woman means that you get to define what being a woman is for yourself. And I love being this definition of "woman" I've chosen for myself.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

*For all of you freaking out and wondering if I'm pregnant, I'm not. :) We are not having kids for a long time. I'm just looking forward to it when it does happen.

Social Media: Overshare?

Wow! I just have to say "thank you" to everyone who read yesterday's post--there were over 300 views yesterday alone, and now I'm up over 2,200 total! I've only had this blog up for a month and I am just so excited that it's getting such positive feedback!

I got to thinking about why my blog is doing so well and realized that I would be completely unknown without social networking sites. (Granted, the photos yesterday didn't hurt my views, but I don't really think that's the reason people read my blog.) This morning, I heard that Justin Timberlake is revitalizing Myspace and launching it soon. This is the link to "The New Myspace" preview video. It looks like it's going to be a music sharing/event making/store/hanging out site. In light of this event, I got to looking at the social media scene, and all of the sites I'm on and what I use them for.

http://www.solveitmedia.com

Facebook: This is definitely the social media site I spend the most time on. I am connected with my family who lives all over the U.S., friends from all over the world, and people I've met at professional conferences or educational events.
Pros: Easy to connect with family. Great photo uploading. User friendly.
Cons: It seems boring; I've been on it for over five years and I don't know if it's because I'm older and have better things to do than creep on people or if the site is really just losing its luster, but it's not as interesting as it used to be. Also, I never know what privacy setting has changed; I feel like I read the "terms" every week just to make sure I'm not missing something.

Twitter: I love Twitter for updates that seem kind of silly. I don't necessarily need to post a whole Facebook status about it, but I still want to share or comment.
Pros: Super easy to use. Easier than FB to connect with celebs.

Cons: From what I've observed, people spend less time reading profiles on Twitter, so it's harder to promote yourself or a product. It's also kind of impersonal; just a list of random one-liners.

http://www.emersonsocialmedia.com

Google+: I only use Google+ for promoting my blog and work-related stuff. (Also, I have YouTube; love that.)

Pros: It's connected to Blogger. Hangouts look like fun.

Cons: It's not user-friendly at all. I really don't like the way it's organized. Also, it's not as clean as FB so a lot of people didn't switch/add Google+ when it came out, because why should they? They have a social networking site that they know and love.

Pinterest: LOVE! :) This is pretty much how I'm planning my wedding and getting ideas for what I want to do with my apartment. I love this site.

Pros: It's so easy to use. It's fun. There are so many links to other sites I would never find with out Pinterest.

Cons: Every single thing you pin shows up under your name if you Google yourself. Interesting. 

Recovery Record: BEST APP EVER for people recovering from eating disorders! I use it every day and try to log all my meals! It's great.

Pros: You get rewards (songs) for logging your meals. You can "pair-up" with someone else and give them virtual gifts. It's FREE. You get encouragement emailed to you if you don't log for a couple days and it's really sweet. It's exciting and makes you want to log your meals and get better. It's customizable for your particular needs.

Cons: Again, pseudonyms are the only thing allowed, so you can't really connect with people even if they sound super cool. Sometimes there are glitches and you don't get them fixed until they send out an update.

http://hazellcottrell.com/category/social-media/

Little Monsters: Joined it yesterday to promote my blog since it was about Lady Gaga.

Pros: If you love Gaga, that's the place to be. It's nice to see young people coming together and sharing their problems without any criticism or bullying.

Cons: It is so emo. I'm a little old for the site, I think. 

LinkedIn: Professional social networking site. I have one, but don't use it a whole lot.

Pros: My resume is uploaded. Everyone can see my qualifications for jobs.

Cons: I've had this site for 5 years and have never had someone call me for a job.

The Knot: Wedding site!!! :)

Pros: It has so many ideas! We can have our own wedding site and blog. It gives you a timeline and to do list!

Cons: Honestly, I don't know if it's worth it. I have found a lot more ideas on Pinterest than The Knot, and I have this blog, why would I make another one? 

Fitocracy: This is like an RPG for fitness! It's awesome! I use it every time I work out.

Pros: You don't have to use your real name. You can upload photos. You can give other people "props." Join fitness events in your area. Join groups that relate to your fitness goals.

Cons: Doesn't tell you why you get more points for some exercises and less for others. There aren't a lot of people on it yet, so you have to mostly connect with people you don't know.

PatientsLikeMe: Track your symptoms and see other users who are going through the same thing! I used this a lot when I started having more medical problems. I don't use it much anymore, but I really liked it.

Pros: Awesome graphs. Tons of conditions listed.

Cons: No real names allowed, so if you really want to talk to someone about something, you don't really have a way to do that. Not very user friendly.

http://nowsourcing.com/2010/03/17/social-media-infographic/

So, these are all the social sites I'm on. Social media and social networking is great, but this is kind of crazy! I know that it's the only reason my blog is read, but at the same time, I don't go out and hang out with people, because I'm working on my profiles all the time. Also, none of these are private! Anyone can search and find all of this about me. I don't regret any of it; I feel like I've been very true to myself and I'm honest on everything. It just seems a little bit creepy that I've allowed all of these sites to have access to my information and keep it even after I cancel my accounts.

Our world is moving forward so quickly and social media and social networking is a HUGE part of it! It seems like being social is the exact opposite now of what it used to be: You used to have to try to be noticed; now you have to try really hard to stay anonymous. So, my life is pretty much displayed online; that's typical for our generation. But is it safe? Is it smart? When is privacy more important than sharing everything online?

myspace.com

I asked for an invite to the new Myspace. :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi