Are Ads Fueling Bad Parenting?

I watch TV on a daily basis. I am also very sensitive to what I perceive to be "right" and "wrong" when it comes to family values. Lately I've noticed that a few ads have had the adverse effect on me than what the advertisers were going for. While I've noticed what they are for and remember them, they leave a bad taste in my mouth.

For example, a couple of commercials have implied that poor parenting is acceptable. In the following Nutella ad, the mother doesn't enforce anything she says: "Breakfast is ready!" No kids come. She says that she's putting Nutella on their toast and then they come. The mother says, "Put your plates in the sink, grab your backpacks" and the kids run off without cleaning up their plates, like she had asked. In response to this, she just smiles and waves it off. If I had ignored my mother like that when I was a kid, I would have been in so much trouble! I feel like this commercial is saying "it's okay" if your kids don't listen to you and you need to bribe them with a supposedly healthy treat to get them to follow directions. I think this mother needs to get a spine and set some expectations in the household.



This PediaSure commercial blew my mind. The little girl is trying to "poof" her healthy food away. The mom says that since she gives her daughter a PediaSure snack, she "doesn't have to worry so much" during dinner. Worry about what? Her daughter not eating her healthy food? Why not just tell your daughter that she is required to eat her food? I remember when I was five years old I sat at the table for an hour because I was refusing to eat my homemade tomato soup. My parents wouldn't let me leave the table until I finished. An hour later, it became clear to me that I was going to lose this battle if I kept it up, so I finished my (now cold) soup. What happened to parents enforcing rules?


In this Allstate ad, the dad says he's going to spend the money he saves by using Allstate instead of another insurance company to get noise canceling headphones after the kids start fighting and screaming in the background. While I think it was supposed to be a joke, the parents look resigned and the agent looks like she could not agree more. This commercial makes me feel like "it's okay" to just ignore your kids and let them fight it out. While, sure, all parents have felt this way at some point, wouldn't it be better for the media to be promoting good parenting?



So these are only three commercials, but I've had a TV for less than a year and before these three ads, I'd never seen anything like this. If anything, ads made it seem like everyone in them loved being in a family. But these three ads caught my eye because I'm not used to seeing parents refuse to do their jobs and parent their kids.

What are these ads teaching parents? That if you're busy and give your kid a semi-healthy snack it's okay to put on headphones and ignore them? That you're not the only parent who's overwhelmed and doesn't want to enforce rules in your house?

And what are these ads teaching kids? Granted, kiddos don't really watch ads, but they absorb everything. Everything! Are kids learning that it's okay to refuse to eat veggies because mommy can buy a shake that you will get for a snack? That it's fine for you to fight as long as your parents don't care enough to help you and your sibling learn to compromise? That it's totally okay to ignore a direct order from your mom because she'll just laugh and wave it off?

Parenting is something I take very seriously--and I'm not even a parent yet! It is hardwired in my brain to think in every situation, "How would I explain this to my kid?" or "Would I feel like it's appropriate for my child to take part in this or watch this or have this become part of their habits?" Sure, I don't have kids yet, but I have two extraordinary parents who took their jobs as parents extremely seriously. And I feel like these ads are not conducive to promoting a culture of good parenting.

What do you think?

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Thanks, Mom!

Mother's Day is a great way to remember the person who may have had the most influence in our lives. My mom is phenomenal. She stayed at home with my sister and me when we were little and did everything with us, from taking us to the library in our red wagon to letting us help her cook! She read to us, danced with us, and sang with us.

Mom home-schooled us for a couple of years in elementary school and was an amazing teacher! She encouraged us to explore anything we were interested in and made everything an hands-on experience. In science, she had us go outside and find rocks from different classifications, we put snowflakes on slides and looked at them through microscopes, and pressed different leaves and flowers for collections. I read anything I could get my hands on, did as much math as I wanted, and became a voracious speller, all thanks to my mom.

I haven't always been the easiest child in our family to deal with, but my parents have always been there for me. I think in our current fad of not-parenting, looking back, I can really appreciate the way my parents did show me tough love when I needed it. Nothing crazy, but I have a good sense of what's right and wrong and a lot of that comes from my parents.

My mom is the reason I want to be a stay-at-home mom when I have kids. I can see what a great mom she was (is!) and that inspires me to want to be a great mom, too! She made her kids a priority instead of having a "successful" career and ended up with two pretty great kids (I'm biased!). I think that is the most noble thing anyone can do and I can't wait to give what she gave me to my kids.

Thanks, Mom!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Conservatism: Black and White?

One of the things I'm learning as I "grow up" is that reality isn't as black and white as I generally like to believe. I have always been a this-is-correct-so-it's-good/this-is-wrong-so-it's-bad type of person. But looking at all the issues going on and how I feel about some of them, there are definitely things I never thought I would say.

When it comes to "family values" I am apparently a lot more conservative than I could have ever imagined. I didn't realize this until my fiancé and I were talking about raising kids. I plan on being what I see as "reasonable," very similar to the way I was raised. But looking deeper into what that means, it turns out that it is more "conservative" parenting than "liberal" parenting.

Now, of course, I about had a heart attack when my fiancé first brought this to my attention: conservatism is bad...isn't it? This has been going on for a few months. It's taken me a while to start to feel okay with it. I mean, I was raised in a "liberal" family, wasn't I?

I believe in being an incredibly present parent. I believe in loving my kids no matter who they are. I believe in telling my kids what they are and are not allowed to do or eat. I believe in disciplining my kids. I believe in being honest with my kids. I believe in having dinner together every night. I believe in having family game night on weekends instead of watching TV or going to a movie.

This is such a weird thing to be talking about since I don't even have kids. But it's important to see someone who used to be such a self-professed liberal accepting some more conservative ideals. I want to be perfectly clear: I am not going insanely conservative, but I'm also not a liberal extremist.

What would happen if our government took a lesson from this? Being a moderate means that we can see both sides and choose for ourselves what is right for us; not being a dogmatic follower of a certain party. Yes, I voted for Obama; yes, I worked for his campaign. But not because he is a Democrat; I believe in him, because I agree with most of his policies. Not all. Most.

Take a moment today and be with yourself. Decide what works for you; not what your party dictates that you should believe. It's harder than it seems like it should be. It's taken me months to be okay with it. But it's important. I'm glad I've taken some time with it.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Should Tackle Football Be Banned?

One of the news stories getting the most attention in the twitter world this morning is a GMA story about a retired doctor who has said that it is "a moral imperitive that we at least begin the process of ending this game" in high schools. The game he was talking about? Football! This doctor, Dr. Paul Butler, says that the research is too obvious that football is a dangerous game for underage kids to be playing.

ESPN says that some of the blows that even high schoolers can take to the head are the equivalent of getting hit in the skull with a sledgehammer.

This is what happens when you marry outside your team...

Even players like Tom Brady are advocating for new rules and safer equipment for players, as seen in this absolutely hilarious NFL Evolution commercial!

Here is the twitter conversation on GMA's status about this. No one, at least in this twitter feed, is interested in banning football! It's fascinating to me that the research obviously says that kids are getting hurt by the tackling, but people love football so much they don't want to stop it. Do these people love the sport more than their kids?

I love football! Any of you who know me know that I am a massive Patriots fan. My fiancé and I are such big football fans that we had our engagement photos done in our jerseys (we love our quarterbacks: Brady and Rodgers)! But when we have kids, if tackle football is still being played in youth leagues and high schools, I'm not sure if we will allow them to play. I played flag football and touch football growing up--I didn't really play tackle until college (full disclosure: I had to quit the team before we played a game). I had an absolute blast playing touch and flag. We had a youth flag football league in my town and it was fun--and safe.

There are also a lot of other sports that are available to kids: track, soccer (heading is under fire, too, though), volleyball, field hockey, basketball, etc. I am very aware that all of these sports have athletes in them who get hurt. The difference to me is that the premise of these sports is not to intentionally run into other players. It happens, sure, but it's not the point of these games.

So, what do you think? Is it worth risking your son or daughter's life or brain function so we can continue to watch tackle football in high schools? Please weigh in!

We want YOU to share your opinion!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

All photos by Bailey Richards.