5 Things to Keep Me Going

Today marks the start of a journey for me. I'm going to start titrating down off of my pain meds. That means I'll be in pain, but hopefully I'll have my brain back. I've felt like I've dropped about 30 IQ points in the last month and I've decided that I would rather be in pain and learn how to manage it the best I can. The following things are what I need to remember while I'm starting to feel the pain again.

I have a wonderful fiancé. One of the reasons I want to get off the meds is so I can be back to my old stubborn sparkly self. I want to remember the times I have with him and I want to be cognitively available for him. I am so incredibly lucky to be with him.

I live in a house where we have a room solely dedicated to computers and crafts. My craft room is for stuff. We have a whole room just for things. That's more room than about 5/6 of the world has. It's amazing if you think about it.

I am close to a lot of my family. So many of my friends aren't close to their families. They "hate" their mom or their dad's never been in the picture. I live only an hour and a half away from my parents and my sister and love going back and hanging out with them. The rest of my family is out west and, while I'm not physically close to them, I get to talk with them on the phone and there's no bad blood in my family. I like that and am thankful for it.

Even though I've got fibromyalgia and I'm in pain, it could be so much worse! I could have a disease that could kill me or a degenerative disease or something like that. Yes, I'm in pain, but honestly, I'd rather have this and be able to think and work from home than be in the hospital for the next few years until I die.

I have food that is nutritious and tasty. The fact that I have incredible choice in what I eat is something that, again, 5/6 of the world doesn't have. I am so lucky.

So, the next few weeks are going to be hard. But I have everything that I just mentioned, as well as the site (that I'm really excited to be updating soon!), so I need to remember all of this when I'm hurting. Thank you to all of you for allowing me to have this wonderful job!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Gratitude: Taking Time to Be Thankful

Wow! Yesterday there were 111 views of this blog! That makes me so excited! Thank you so much for all the support. I'm blown away by the sheer volume of people who have read it!

Today it is a beautiful day, so I thought it would be nice to write a post that reflects the sunshine!

Gratitude is something that is very important to me. It goes from a simple "thank you" when someone helps you out to feeling a sense of overwhelming love and thankfulness for someone or something in your life. Lately I have felt incredibly lucky and grateful for all the amazing things going on in my life, so I just wanted to share; not to brag or gloat, but in hope that it can make you aware of a person or a situation in your own life for which you can consciously be grateful today.

• My fiancé is the most wonderful person I know. He always puts our relationship and me ahead of everything else in his life. He goes to work every day so we can have financial stability and I can worry less about not having a secure job. He loves his job and prides himself on the work he puts into it. He says that making me smile is his favorite thing to do. He is an absolutely brilliant man and I am so lucky to have him in my life forever.
• My family is amazing! Even though I've moved, my parents and sister are still on the phone whenever I call. I know I can always count on them (all of them, not just the ones in Louisville!) to be there for me, and I see myself as lucky that I can be there for them, too.
• We have two fantastic kittens! They make me laugh every day and I love watching them grow.
• I get to look outside every day and see trees and grass. This might seem like a small thing, but getting to exist with nature and do yoga outside is so wonderful. 
• I have the luxury of having the time and equipment to exercise every day. I never thought I would live somewhere that has its own pool, gym, and tennis, basketball, racquetball, and volleyball courts! So many people don't get to exercise because of their work schedules or having nowhere to go, and it is amazing that I get to do this every day.
• We live in a country where I can write this blog and not worry about being arrested for it. I can say anything about politics or religion or anything else and I am not censored by the government. This is a privilege we have that is so amazing. I know to us it seems normal and an inalienable right that everyone should have (agreed), but take a minute and think about what our lives would be like if we didn't have it. Now think about the people in the countries who don't have it. 
• I have a life in which my main worries do not include having enough food every day, whether I will have a roof over my head tomorrow night or not, soldiers coming in during the night and killing my family and me, or having fresh drinking water for both the children and the adults in my community. So thankful for all of that, and so mindful of the people who do not have it.

So now I have two challenges for you. 

1) Think about something in your life that you are grateful for and let the feeling it gives you swallow you up. Feel every part of yourself being grateful for that thing or situation or person. Let it fill you and then carry it with you through today. 

2) Use that feeling to treat the people you interact with today with kindness and understanding. Allow yourself to feel grateful for them and then communicate that with them. Tell them how they make your life better, give them a compliment, tell them a joke; however you share your gratitude with someone, do that. Then assess how you feel. You might be surprised.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi