Teachers: Is Your Personal Life Really Yours?

Sarah Jones, teacher and cheerleader.

Yesterday's abysmal court ruling that gave the BenGal dancer/teacher Sarah Jones only 5 years probation after she had sex with a student made me think about what teachers are allowed to do outside of school. I thought about it and came to a couple conclusions:
1. I would have felt incredibly uncomfortable if I had a teacher in high school who was a cheerleader/dancer on the nights and weekends. I would have felt like she was a role model for me; someone put there by the school board to show me a good example of an adult. There definitely would have been a huge influence on my dressing and actions if I had known she was a dancer, because I would see showing 90% of my body and shaking my boobs and butt to thousands of people both at home and on national television as an acceptable thing to do. "If my teacher can do it, why can't I?" would have been a pretty logical leap for a teenage mind.
2. If I had a child who had a cheerleader/dancer as a teacher, I would be very upset. If I ever have a child, male or female, who has a teacher who moonlights as a slutty dancer in clothing the size of a postage stamp, I would question the school board's decision of hiring her.

In Kentucky, according to KRS 161.164, teachers are not allowed to be part of political campaigns because they don't want the teachers using their authoritative positions to influence students. I spent two hours this morning looking for where the KRS laws mention stripping or dancing while being a teacher and they don't exist, as far as I've found. So, the state doesn't want teachers influencing their students (most of whom cannot vote) politically, but it's fine to influence the students' (most of whom in middle and high school are starting to experiment with sex) sexual behavior . I really disagree with this.

I looked at three Kentucky county teacher contracts this morning: Jefferson, Boone, and Kenton. In all of them, there was some version of this sentence: "The private life of a teacher is not the concern of the School Board unless it affect's the teachers responsibility as set forth in KRS 161.120." In Section 1, Part c of this statute, it says, "Committing any act that constitutes...immoral conduct." Who decides "immoral"? I think dancing/cheering in extraordinarily revealing clothing on weekends is immoral. But obviously, the Board doesn't agree with that, because Sarah Jones was a teacher while she was a cheerleader.

Teachers have long been regarded as pillars of the community. I am a third generation teacher in my family and in my immediate family alone, there are 5 teachers. I see education and teaching as the noblest of professions because there would be no leaders, no engineers, no doctors, no lawyers, nothing, without teachers. It is my opinion that we need to restore the integrity to the teaching profession. Just like a politician's life is not their own (see Bill Clinton or anyone else who has done something in their personal life and gotten destroyed for it), neither is a teacher's life. When you enter the teaching profession, you become a role model for thousands of students. You are teaching the next generation about values, about academia, about social relations, and everything else. Overall, teachers see students more than parents do during the school year. I absolutely do not feel comfortable entrusting my children to people who sell their bodies on weekends (yes, nothing physical is happening, but you're baring your body to the world for entertainment). I don't care if it's "dancing" and some people consider it "athletic" and "not sexual" as I know some of you will respond. It is highly inappropriate for our students to be exposed to that mentality in a public school.

For the record, for those of you who know me and remember that I was a ballroom dancer for a few years and wore incredibly revealing costumes, I would not continue that sport as a teacher. I think that, too, is excessively revealing and too sexual to participate in publicly in competitions on my weekends as a teacher. I know that this is an amazingly conservative view, but the reason I have this opinion is that our children are exposed to so much sexual media all the time outside of school that I feel like school should be one place that is safe from that. Girls especially are so influenced by sex, "being sexy," and working to "look good." School should be a place for academia and not sex or having sex-related distractions, such as an entire class knowing their teacher bares (almost) all every weekend in front of a 50,000 person stadium.

Kids are impressionable. Let's work on giving them good impressions.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Societal Value: Is Having Sex with a Teacher Okay If She's Hot?

Sarah Jones as a BenGal

Sarah Jones, of Northern Kentucky, is a former Ben-Gal cheerleader-turned-teacher facing two criminal charges: having sex with a 17-year-old student and wrongful use of electronic means to coerce a minor into engaging in sexual activity. Each one of these charges could come with up to five years in prison. This is the Huffington Post's story on the case in early August. Jones has maintained since her resignation in November that she is not guilty, and was actually blaming some of the high school girls for what happened. Two weeks ago, however, the court deemed it appropriate to include text messages and emails in the evidence used in the case. The extremely public trial was set to begin later this week, but this morning we woke up to the news that Sarah Jones is going to accept a plea bargain later today. On GMA this morning, one of their legal analysts said that the bargain will almost certainly reduce her punishment to maybe a month in jail, or even just parole!

It is absolutely incredible to me that a teacher who had sex with her student might only get a month in jail. Granted, her teaching career is over, so that's a rather large punishment, but only a month in jail?! That is nothing, compared to what that student is going to go through. We don't know his story because he is a minor, but it's not too hard to figure out: He has a crush on her, ends up flirting with her a little bit, she sees it as a thrill to be able to manipulate the student, while he thinks he's in charge of the situation; and then it goes too far.

This student has no idea what his life is going to be like now: How is he going to trust anyone again? She was married, but still had sex with him. Why should he ever trust that a woman who tells him that she loves him isn't cheating on him behind his back? Or why should he trust that the school he sends his kids to someday will keep them safe? It's the school's responsibility to keep the students safe, and his school's administration did not keep him safe. At least he can trust the fact that she will not be teaching ever again and will never do this to another student.

One that I find extraordinary is the reaction of the public to this case. Comments on some of the stories I was looking at this morning included, "I want to give that guy a high-five for that. She's hot. Who really wants to make a big deal over some teen getting some from an NFL cheerleader. Someone is jealous" and "All she will get will be a slap on the wrist...I'd gladly slap her, but not on the wrist." WHAT?! Is it just me, or is our society incredibly skewed when it comes to this kind of stuff? If it were a man having sex with a female student, he would be absolutely abhorred by the general public. Because this teacher is apparently "hot," though, this student is actually having people giving him props for having sex with her, and no one seems to care a whole lot that she was an authority figure who took advantage of her position. This is a problem that really needs to be addressed! Teachers are people who parents entrust their children's well-being to, and if parents can't be sure that teachers are not taking advantage of their children, the public education system is definitely going to lose credibility. The fact that I wrote an article similar to this one a month ago means that there is an absolutely huge problem in our schools. How can this be happening so much? And how many teachers are committing heinous acts like this and haven't been caught yet? And when they do get caught, are they getting prosecuted?

Students, please report anything you're seeing or hearing in regards to this topic. Teachers who commit crimes need to be taken down. They are supposedly pillars of our society, and if they are running around being inappropriate with students, they need to be taken out of that position. Let's stop this, please. All of us need to work together to make this something that is not okay. If you, personally, do not want to get involved, then use the anonymous tip lines. They are anonymous. Get these teachers out of our schools. Keep our kids safe.

UPDATE: Sarah Jones was charged with a misdemeanor around 9:45am EDT. A misdemeanor. That's it. Wow.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

DIY NFL Catnip Toys

For the record, I'm a Patriots fan;
my fiancé is a Packers owner.

Good Friday morning, everyone! :)
My kittens have completely destroyed the toys we bought them a month and a half ago. I went to the pet store and started looking for new toys. They're expensive! So I came home and started looking at the materials I had at my house. I realized I had some polar fleece left over from some previous projects, some polyester filler, and catnip! It's football season, so I decided our kittens should have the opportunity to "participate," too! These are the finished products I've made so far, and the instructions to make them are below! Pick your team and watch your cats enjoy football season!

Dead store-bought mouse toys...

First, get a remnant (50% off at Jo-Ann Fabrics) of your favorite sports team's polar fleece (polar fleece is the best fabric for this, in my opinion, because the kittens can get their claws into it).

Cut out two logos that are opposite each other.

Put the pieces together right sides in.

Sew almost all the way around the edge.

Turn the toy right side out. Use a pencil or pen to help, if necessary.

Get some poly-fill.

Stuff the toy about half full.

Then get your catnip, and put a few pinches in to the toy. Use your finger to push it around the fill to the outside. If you leave it in the middle of the poly-fill, the kitties won't be able to smell it as easily and will ignore the toy.

My kittens were so excited--they didn't want to wait!

Once you've filled it up all the way with the poly-fill, you should have a bit of a gap left open.

With a needle and thread (doubled), sew it up!

Make sure you knot it quite well. These kittens are going to attack this thing!

Finished product!

 Test run...

Success!

These are the toys I've made so far.

The kittens love them!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend filled with football! :)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Three Personal Reasons I Support President Obama

Last night, Mitt Romney performed well in the first presidential debate. He was well prepared and was finally specific on some of his policies. President Obama seemed tired and annoyed. It's no secret that I've been working for the Obama campaign for the last month and last night I got a lot of texts, emails, and messages about how Obama was "dominated" by Romney and asking why I support President Obama when Romney is such a "clear choice." Here are a few reasons why President Obama has personally made my life better in his first term.

First, I am a woman.

• Obama signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act as the first bill he signed of his first term. Mitt Romney still refuses to answer whether or not he would have signed this bill. I can't imagine being a woman and voting for someone who refuses to answer whether or not he thinks I should get equal pay for equal work.
• Under Obamacare, starting in 2014, I will no longer have to pay more for my health insurance than men pay. If Romney is elected and gets rid of Obamacare, I will continue to have to pay more for my health insurance than men simply because I am a woman.
• Under Obamacare, my birth control is covered. I pay a fraction of what I used to pay to get my prescription birth control. I have had a lot of people ask me, "Why should I pay for your birth control? Just don't have sex." Here's the thing: people are going to have sex whether they are on birth control or not. I think it's more important to keep women who can't afford to have children from getting pregnant, instead of complaining about the kids being born into poverty and the "irresponsibility" of the mothers.
• Mitt Romney is going to make all abortions illegal. There will be no exceptions for pregnancies that occurred because of rape or incest. I have a friend who was raped at 17 and became pregnant. She ended up miscarrying, but was planning on getting an abortion because she was absolutely not in a place financially or physically where she could have had the child. What would have happened to her if she hadn't miscarried and abortion wasn't legal? Making abortions illegal is terrifying because if women can't get them safely and legally, they will get them illegally or try to perform them themselves. This is really scary because it is going to put many more women at risk for infections, diseases from unclean instruments, and death than if abortion was legal and they could have it done safely. Last night Romney said that he didn't want a board of people making decisions about his healthcare (in regard to Obamacare). I don't want him making decisions about my healthcare.

Second, I am someone who is currently benefiting from Obamacare.

• Last night, Romney said that his plan would allow young people up to 26 years old to stay on their parents' health insurance plans--if their private health insurance company allowed it. I know that before Obamacare was passed my parents' health insurance plan did not allow that. I am 23 years old and unemployed. Now, because of Obamacare, I get to stay on my parents' plan and I have health insurance.
• Last night, Romney said that his plan would make it possible for people with pre-existing conditions to have insurance--if they were already on an insurance plan that allows that. I know that my parents' health insurance plan doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. I don't know how I could find insurance while being unemployed that I can afford that would cover pre-existing conditions. Because of Obamacare, I will get to have health insurance even though I have a pre-existing condition.

Third, I am part of the LGBT community and so is my older sister, who was married to her wife in 2008 when it was legal in San Francisco.

• Obama supports same-sex marriage. Romney is going to amend the constitution to ban same-sex marriage.
• Obama repealed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" so now people can serve their country without hiding a part of who they are.
• Obama made it possible for my sister to visit her wife in the hospital. Romney would take that right away.
• Mitt Romney favors allowing states to ban civil unions, which means that people of the LGBT community would not be allowed to even be in a union. This is a problem because this affects LGBT couples' health insurance, life insurance, adoption plans, visitation rights, and also the right that they don't have just because they are in the LGBT community: to marry the person you love.

This is the second sentence of our Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, 

that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, 

that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Obviously, it was written at a time when only men (white men who owned property) were "created equal." But times have changed. If these rights are "self-evident" then why are we (women and the LGBT community) having to fight so hard to get our rights? President Obama has, and is going to continue to finally grant us our "unalienable Rights." If Romney is elected, we, the mothers, daughters, sisters, and leaders of the community, will not get the self-evident truths upon which our country was founded.

I agree: this is a very clear choice.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Sources for this article include:

women.barackobama.com

lgbt.barackobama.com

gobackteam.com

barackobama.com/truthteam

Michelle Obama in Cincinnati!

My sister and me in line.

Yesterday was an absolutely amazing experience! Getting to see Michelle Obama speak in person was phenomenal. She is more stunning in person than on TV; something I didn't know was possible!

The crowd waiting to go in.

The crowd was huge: 6,800 people! It was great because there were people from all different backgrounds and there were a lot of different views on issues even within the people who were there for this unifying event. It was really interesting, because even though we were all there for the same thing, everyone still wanted to be in their own groups: "African-Americans for Obama," "Women for Obama," "LGBT for Obama," "Latinos for Obama," "People of Faith for Obama," etc. It was almost like high school clicks all over again, except this time people were advertising what groups they were in.

Here are some photos of the event before Michelle took the stage:

We were so close!

Early voting started in OH yesterday!

Sherrod Brown, US Senator

Emily with her sign that the guy next to her ended up taking.
We had interactions with so many charming people...

One of our future leaders sitting with Dad.

The next generation of voters on Dad's shoulders!

This video isn't great, but this woman who is introducing Michelle Obama talked about her family's struggle with healthcare. Her son, standing next to her, was born with a liver problem and had a liver transplant at age 2. They had already reached his "lifetime cap" with their health insurance because of the transplant. When Obama passed the Affordable Care Act, they got to have affordable health insurance again! It was so great to hear their story and I love that she got to introduce the FLOTUS!

Michelle talked about so much! I wish I could have gotten it all. :) She told us why she loves Barack (Happy 20 Year Anniversary Today!!!), the reasons that it is so incredibly important to vote, and why Barack needs to be re-elected! Here is a clip about the great things he's done and why you need to re-elect this president. Listen carefully; the audio is terrible, but the message is great!

I loved watching her speak! She was so into it. :) Amazing experience.

This is the end of her speech. What a fantastic time we had! She is an inspiration and a great woman.

We were so close to getting to shake her hand!
This photo is with no zoom!

All in all, it was a great day! As you saw in yesterday's post, there were definitely some issues, but Michelle was absolutely perfect. :)

Here are some links both about her visit yesterday and about the campaign:
WCPO.com's Story About Her Visit
Huff Post's Story on FLOTUS's Visit and Why Ohio is So Important
Hamilton County, OH Voting Information
BarackObama.com

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

FLOTUS ADA Experience

I am currently at the FLOTUS event in Cincinnati waiting for Michelle Obama to speak. I am registered on the ADA list because this is a 3 hour long event and since I have fibromyalgia I can't stand for that length of time on concrete. We just stood in line for about an hour and a half and I'm already completely exhausted. While we were in line I was asked by about 6 volunteers if I was in the right place and when I said "yes" they gave me looks like they didn't believe me. When I offered to show them my doctor note they said they didn't need to see it, but they still looked very unsure. When I came in there were volunteers who asked about it and then were completely accommodating when I told them why I was on the ADA list. But there were a lot of the companions of the other people on the ADA list who were telling me, "Well I have fibro but I'm standing up" and "Well my aunt has a cane so you need to let her have your chair." Um...no, not a chance. We all have problems and that's why we're ALL on this list. I happen to have been waiting longer, so that's why I have a good seat. If there was literally no other chair and an old woman with a cane needed my chair, of course I would give it to her. But there were a lot more chairs behind me.

The fact that people are in a pissing contest about disabilities makes me so upset! And that companion who claimed she has fibro ended up taking a person's chair while they were in the bathroom and now has a better seat than I do. I'm glad she does have a chair now because she would have hurt a whole lot if she would have had to stand the whole time, but just because I look healthy and I'm young does NOT mean that you get to tell me what's best for me. That would be like me saying to someone with MS or cancer or something that you can't "see" just by looking at them, "But you look fine, why can't you stand for the whole time?" That would be highly offensive of me to say, and it infuriates me that fibromyalgia is so misunderstood by so many people that they are willing to discount any pain I'm in because I look great so I must feel totally fine.

Please be kind to each other today. There is always something that you can't "see" about someone you're interacting with, so be gentle with each other.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

I am so close to the stage! :)

Social Mini-Experiment: Does Appearance Actually Matter?

Starbucks.com

Good Monday morning, everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend! I had a fantastic weekend, but found it so hard to wake up this morning. Mondays sometimes turn into Starbucks days for me because I need that extra pick-me-up. Today's Starbucks run actually turned into a little social experiment. Here is the background of my incredibly un-scientific experiment:

I have been a Starbucks drinker for a long time (Those of you who are going to judge me for drinking Starbucks instead of supporting local business, please do so and get it out of your system. Okay...judging completed? Great! Keep reading.). A year ago I was doing weekly professional observations at a local middle school. I had to be there around 7:30am each week and I started making a habit of dropping by the closest Starbucks in an act of self-bribery to get myself out of bed. I was always dressed very well since I was on my way to a professional engagement. I got used to a variety of free items the guys at Starbucks would give me: free coffee upgrade, free banana bread, free frappuccinos, free muffins, etc. I didn't really think much of it, until my fiancé told me that it isn't normal, and I was getting "special treatment" because of the way I looked. I laughed it off, thinking he was just being sweet or something. I attributed my getting free things to the fact that I'm a morning person and I'm quite personable in the early hours of the day. I always asked how the guys were and was very pleasant. Just to clarify: I never flirted with them, I'm just a conversational person.

But then I got to thinking about it.

I moved up to the Cincinnati area a few months ago. No more Starbucks where the guys who work there have gotten to know me. A couple weeks ago I had to go deal with some computer problems at the Apple store. I was acutely aware of the fact that there was a Starbucks in the mall close to the Apple store. I dressed nicely: jeans, heels, cute top, hair pulled back, natural but accentuating makeup. I had to leave my computer at the store for a while, so I wandered down to Starbucks. There were two people working there: a guy and a girl. I waited until the guy was closest to the register, had a friendly conversation with him, and then asked for a coffee and a bagel--and got free cream cheese! The very next day, my computer messed up again and I had to take it back. And I dressed up again: wedges, jeans, Michael Kors top, hair up again, makeup edgier than yesterday, but not too much. Again, I had to leave my computer at the store for an hour, so I went back to the same Starbucks. The same guy was working there (different girl, I think), I asked for the same order, and got free cream cheese again. When I told my fiancé about this he was not surprised at all, and repeated what he had told me a year ago: that I was getting free stuff because of the way I looked. I was determined to prove him wrong.

This morning I was in yoga pants, sneakers, and a hoodie, with my hair in a ponytail and no makeup. I went to Starbucks, was my usual charming self, and didn't get any free stuff. I actually stepped outside my typical personality and tried to engage the male barista in more of a conversation than I normally do. I asked if he had had a good weekend. He looked at me, said, "sure," and went back to the making of my drink. At the other Starbucks the male barista and I had chatted for a good couple of minutes. This guy would barely even talk to me. I got my coffee and left.

So. I was talking to my fiancé about this little social experiment this morning before I conducted it; he was already assuming that today was going to go exactly how it actually went. He said that all it shows is a few thousand years of males being hardwired to pay special attention to the attractive females and ignore the ones who aren't "hot." I think this experiment does show that, although, for the record, I look stunning in yoga pants! ;) But when I was growing up, I was always told that "looks don't matter" and "it's what's inside your head that counts." Is it? I'm not so sure. I think it's important to be intelligent, because if you're just some bimbo with no brains, even if you are super-hot, you won't get an extraordinarily high-profile job because you can't handle it and you have no idea what's going on. But look at these women who are CEOs and business owners. They're attractive women.

Andrea Jung, Chairman and CEO Avon

Safra Catz, President and CFO Oracle

Angela Braly, President, Chairman, and CEO
Wellpoint Health Insurance

Indra Nooyi, Chairman and CEO PepsiCo.

Would they have gotten this far if they hadn't been attractive? I would love to say, "Yes, it's about the hard work they put in, not their looks," but is it? I'm sure they all have put in hard work, but they're all also attractive. 

So, in this very small un-scientific look at society, appearance trumped personality. It's kind of too bad it turned out like this, in my opinion. I'm not saying I wish I'd gotten free stuff, because that isn't really what matters; I just wish that personality had trumped appearance. But, like my fiancé said, it's a four thousand year old hardwiring problem in men that we are trying change with a one hundred year old feminist movement. 

I think this is something that women, especially "progressive" women, don't want to acknowledge. But it's there. So, ladies, I kind of feel like I'm just saying something I think we've all felt even though we're being told otherwise: "Looks do matter."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi