These are the costs of the typical reception venue, the bar that is required even if you don't want alcohol at your wedding, one floral arrangement, and the catering for the reception. Seriously. The average cost of a wedding is $25,000, not including the honeymoon. That is insane.
Now the reason I'm so upset by this is not because we can't afford it; both sets of parents have been more than generous in being willing to help us out financially. I have such a visceral reaction to these obscene prices because I grew up in two places where $25,000 could change an entire village or town's way of life.
In Roundup, Montana, a town of 2,000 ranchers, farmers, and small business owners, $25,000 could renovate the park, start an after school program for kids, start a community beautification program, or give every family about $25 to spend on whatever they wanted.
In Vanuatu, $25,000 could feed a village of 100 people for a year. It could buy 1,250 pairs of $20 shoes for kids who've never seen a sneaker, let alone wear a pair. It could build 250 new houses for a village that has to move their location because of the rising sea level. It could build a school so more students can have the opportunity to get an academic education.
Who am I to spend $25,000 on anything, when I know it could change an entire community's future? I am so aware that this is the one wedding I get; the one day where I get to decide everything (!) and not worry about anything. It's a day that is so important and a day on which you begin something so special; but $25,000? Note: Just to be very clear, we do not have a budget of $25,000; a fifth of that at the most.
How did our society get to the point where it's acceptable--no, expected--to spend this kind of money on one day? What happened to love? Isn't that what the day is about: two people loving each other so much that they want to commit themselves to each other in front of every person in their lives that matters to them? So why should we pay ourselves into debt to have the day we want when the day is perfect if the two people involved go home together that night?
So. I'm designing and making my own dress. My bridesmaids, family, and I are making the decorations. I'm designing and making the invitations. We're getting married where my dad works. I'm going to buy single stem flowers and make my own arrangements and bouquets. We're not having alcohol. There is so much we can do that will cut the cost and still give us a beautiful day.
We need to bring weddings back from this crazy show of wealth to what they're about: love. I love my fiancé and I can't wait to share that moment I become his wife with my friends and family--with the budget and meaning I want.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi
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