Patriots: Better Off Without Welker

A clipping from the Roundup Record-Tribune about Mac Bledsoe's 1999 visit.

Author's Note: This is my first article for a new sports writing gig I got, so that's why I have the different tag-line at the end. Enjoy!

I have loved the New England Patriots since Bledsoe's time. I was 10 when Drew's dad, Mac, came to my school in Roundup, Montana and gave a motivational speech. What he said resonated with me and I had been wanting to have an NFL team of my own (my best friend was a 49ers fan, so I had been a 49ers fan by default--and who didn't love Jerry Rice?!), so the New England Patriots became my team!

I was devastated when Tom Brady took over for Bledsoe in 2001. I "knew" that this kid couldn't be as good as Bledsoe and I knew where my loyalties were. But then I realized, as Brady started looking better and better through the season, that I was a Patriots fan, not a Bledsoe fan. Even though players come and go, and we get attached to them, at the end of the day, we are fans of our teams, not the players. Now, over a decade later, I am still sad to see some of my favorite players go, but love my Patriots more than ever!

Wes Welker had his first season with New England during my first semester at college. I was amazed by his talent and he easily became a top 3 favorite of mine (always behind Brady, and behind Deion Branch when he was on the team). Welker brought our team to a new level and the games were impressive to watch.

As the seasons passed and Welker continued to perform at an incredibly high level, I was a happy camper. When Welker dropped a perfect pass from Brady in the last 10 seconds of Super Bowl XLVI, I was unhappy. And then Welker decided to start contract negotiations. That made me even more unhappy. Here is an excerpt of an article I wrote about him back in September 2012:

"Wes Welker is a prime example of a player I love who was in contract negotiations this summer and, frankly, disgusted me. He wanted $11.42M this year with a long-term contract because he felt he was worth that much to the Patriots organization. He is now on a one year contract, making about $9.5M this year, and I'm pretty sure that yesterday in the season opener he got a total of 14 yards (Fourteen?!?!! Is this a high school stat???) and let a perfect pass bounce off his helmet."

In the 2012 season Welker went on to have 118 receptions for 1,354 yards; down from his 2011 season stats: 122 receptions for 1,569 yards. Although these are decent stats, I was disappointed in his season and was, to be honest, more interested in the on-again, off-again relationship Deion Branch (like me, a Louisville Cardinal alum) was having with the team.

I heard through the grapevine that Welker was renegotiating his contract with the Patriots for the 2013 season. I was furious! Why should my team spend more money to keep someone who tends to drop big passes when it really matters (e.g. 2012 AFC Championship game) instead of paying him what he's worth and getting some new guys who could start learning from the vets?!

Then, on March 13, 2013, Welker signed with the Broncos for $12 million over two years. And I said, "Good riddance." Honestly. I figure if he's spending more energy off the field trying to get a bigger paycheck than making big plays on the field, we don't need him. We are a team and if he doesn't feel like putting the team ahead of his millions of dollars, we can do better.

I've been spending the last couple of weeks getting over my anger at Wes Welker and scoping out the Patriots' prospects in the upcoming NFL draft. And then yesterday I came across this interview with Welker on the Broncos' website. Take a look here.

Wes Welker apparently told John Elway "how much [he] wanted to win" and that he "wanted to be part of a winning team." Are you kidding me?! The Broncos haven't been a winning team since Elway's time and, while I respect the hell out of Peyton Manning, he's 37 years old! In my estimate, they've got one shot to make the Broncos a championship caliber team: the 2013 season. Welker just left a winning team to go to a team that might have the possibility of winning. Maybe. It's ridiculous.

Then Welker had the gaul to say that the biggest thing he learned at New England was "always putting the team first in everything you do." Please. If he actually believed in putting the team first, he wouldn't be in Denver. How is this interview not raising red flags for Elway? It's incredibly obvious that Welker follows the money and doesn't care about "the team." I can guarantee you that I wouldn't put him on my team if I had one--who's to say he wouldn't leave after one season if someone else offered him more money?!

So, for all you New England fans mourning the loss of Welker, let him go. Frame your #83 jerseys and hang them up. Look back at Welker's time with us as a good era, but just let it slip into the history books. I mourned Bledsoe's leaving for months and (no offense to Drew) we got someone better. We're going to get a better receiver who doesn't only play well, but really knows and respects the value of being a Patriot.

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up." --Vince Lombardi

Be the Change You Wish to See

I've noticed something about our society: we LOVE a good cause and we get all fired up about it. And then we move on to the next cause without following through on the previous one.

Yesterday, 9% (100/1130--yes, I went through and counted) of my Facebook friends changed their profile photos to the red Human Rights Campaign logo. On Twitter, you can see real-time trends on a map here: http://trendsmap.com. It's very cool. Right now #MarriageEquality is trending in California, Minnesota, and New York.


But if you check out this infographic from HootSuite.com, you see the Top 10 Twitter Trends of 2012. The Olympics was the top trend of 2012--do you remember who won your "favorite" events? Maybe. We don't pay attention to Olympic sports for three years and eleven months out of the year and then we live and breathe Olympics. The election we can all still remember. Justin Bieber? Well, I don't pay attention to him! But look #4: Hurricane Sandy. We ALL came together for that. We could donate to the Red Cross, there was the 12/12/12 concert, there were all the hashtags sending the victims love and support...but do you still think about those victims? They're still recovering and we're not even paying attention anymore. Do you remember anyone who won an MTV Music Award? I don't. James Holmes was eighth in the World News category. Do you know who that is without "Aurora" being in the same sentence? In July were you incensed about his actions and were talking about the Aurora tragedy non-stop? After the Sandy Hook tragedy did you start talking about gun control again? Are you still talking about gun control, or is gay marriage (or anti gay marriage) now your "cause"?











And check out these other graphics from 2011 and 2010. Look at numbers 6, 8, and 10 in the 2011 Trending News category. Do you remember the Egyptian, Brazilian, or English riots? I don't. I went back and looked up the Egyptian riots and it jogged my memory--I was really upset about them. Do you remember the Libyan conflict? I do--I cried and wrote a letter to Obama when we shot missiles at Libya. But I never followed up with him. The earthquake in Japan was in 2011. Remember that? I made so many cookies and cupcakes for bake sales for them! They are still recovering from that disaster. How often do you think about it? I guess I did for the first time in almost 2 years on their 2 year anniversary earlier this month. But back then, I wanted to help and I made it my top priority.

In 2010, the Gulf Oil Spill was the top trend on Twitter (It's already been three years?!). Remember how fired up we all got about oil companies making sure they were keeping the environment clean? When's the last time that hit the news? Do you even think about it anymore? I barely ever do. The World Cup was also in 2010. Who won? I remember watching it and being incredibly into it--I even refashioned a Brasil jersey for myself to wear! And the earthquake in Haiti--how many bake sales did we all have? How much did we all donate? Do we know now how Haitians are doing? Nope.

My point with these graphics and pulling out "big" stories is that what means so much to us right now ends up becoming just another statistic on a graph somewhere. Unless we choose one thing and make it our mission, how effective are we being? I write every day about current events, but is anything changing? After Sandy Hook I wrote about gun control. The entire country felt like it was moving toward stricter gun control. One hundred days after Sandy Hook, nothing's happened and the window of opportunity for change is closing fast. After the BP oil spill in 2010, we had a window to regulate oil companies more. That window is definitely shut. After the earthquake in Japan we had a window to talk about nuclear energy--it's shut.

We must take the opportunities we have to make change. Yesterday the Supreme Court talked about how they're concerned that this gay marriage case is even in the federal court, because it's "younger than cell phones or the Internet." But this is our window. Look at these big issue windows in just the last three years that we have allowed to close without seizing the opportunity that's at hand. 

I love watching the news. I love making noise about the news and what we need to do to change it. But what will it take to really make change and not just make noise? This is a time for us--we are on the cusp of change: gay marriage rights, gun control, education policies, and so much more. If we become silent because an event falls too far back in our memories, change and progress will never happen. It is up to us to keep the conversation going. It is up to us to bring about the change we all so crave.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Hot Topic: Gay Marriage

As many of you know, I'm getting married this summer. I am so excited! My fiancé and I have been together for almost two and a half years. When he proposed last summer, I said "yes" with no cares in the world. I was so happy and so excited to get married a year later! I'm doing a lot of DIY stuff for the wedding and having a blast doing it!

But what if I wasn't allowed to get married? What if I was in love with someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I didn't get to be married? What if that proposal had been bittersweet because I knew it meant years of being treated like a second-class citizen even though I was living with the love of my life?

Unfortunately, the questions I just asked are what happens to our gay and lesbian friends, family, and neighbors every day. They don't have the right to get married in our country. Only in nine states and the District of Columbia is gay marriage legal.

Why? Because right-wing conservative Christians think that gay marriage is a sin and shouldn't be allowed.

Okay. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinions--until they restrict someone else's rights. Who do these evangelical "Christians" think they are? Why do they think that their hate is God's will? Did Jesus say, "Hate your neighbor and take their rights away if they're different"? I'm no biblical scholar, but even I know that Jesus said, "Love your neighbor." So is it Christ-like of these so-called "Christians" (meaning "follower of Christ") to decide that certain people shouldn't be allowed to have the same legal recognition of their love that straight people have? (Oh--and by the way, our country isn't Christian: it has the separation of church and state, so "Christian" values don't really have a place in this discussion, do they?)

Conservatives who are against gay marriage tout "traditional values" as the reason that gay marriage is an abomination. Guess what? I believe in traditional values 100%. I believe that if a couple decides to have a family, it should be the center of their lives; the "home base," if you will. I believe that families should love each other and make sure that every member of that family has what they need. I believe that having a married set of parents is important for a family--it provides stability. And I believe that having a family is a right.

I am already a rather moderate person, and getting more conservative by the day. I am personally fiscally conservative, I don't like Hollywood making "Spring Break" movies showing our girls that it's "normal" to be slutty and drunk in high school, and I'm not very compromising when it comes to how seriously I take family values. But even though I'm probably the most conservative in my entire family, I don't believe that it is my right to tell someone else that they cannot have the same rights I have.

Why should I get to be legally recognized for being in the best relationship of my life but someone else shouldn't be? I didn't do anything to earn that right and they didn't do anything to lose that right--so why should I get it and they shouldn't? It's not my right to make a decision about their rights for them.

Last week Ohio senator Rob Portman changed his mind on the gay marriage issue because his son is gay. While I am thrilled that he changed his stance, the fact that it is taking a family member being gay to convince conservative leaders that gay people should have rights is kind of amazing. But it worked for him and it worked for Cheney. So here is my challenge for all of you who think that gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married:

• Think of the person in your life that you love the most. 
• Think about how upset you would be if they weren't allowed to be legally married.
• Get on board.

Now, if your empathetic side isn't quite up to snuff, try this challenge instead:

• Think about yourself.
• If you're married, think about all the great things that you have because you're married.
• All those things were just taken away from you.
• You are a second-class citizen. 
• You are not allowed to get married to the person you love, because it's illegal.
• You are never going to have the same rights as everyone else.
• You are second rate.
• You are not equal.
• You do not have the same job opportunities as "normal" people.
• You will never make as much money as "normal" people.
• You have to fight to be heard every day.
• And you--YOU--are not equal to ME because you are different. 
• YOU are less than me.

I didn't like writing that--it felt mean and hateful. And it was. I hope it got under your skin a little bit. That is what the gay and lesbian community faces every day. It is hate and it is wrong. Get on board.

Today and tomorrow the Supreme Court of the United States is going to be discussing gay marriage rights in the U.S. This is a civil rights issue, just like race discrimination is. If it were left up to the states to decide whether or not to have in their state constitutions that African Americans, Native Americans, Latino Americans, or any other non-white American could not be discriminated against, how do you think that would work out? We need to have gay rights recognized as federal law, not on a state-by-state basis. 

I don't have any tolerance for discrimination. I just don't. People are people. Love is love. Equality is equality. None of that should be based on where you're from, what you look like, who you love, and what you want in life. I hope and pray that we will get equality in this country sooner than later. I am so ashamed to even have to say that in 2013 as an American. We must have equality.

From the Human Rights Campaign.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

5 Ways to Exercise--At Home!

I have always loved a good workout! I've been active my entire life. Growing up in country, I hiked, biked, and ran all the time. I started organized track and field in fourth grade and ran all the way through high school. I did ballet and ballroom dance through college for exercise, too. I much prefer to be outside than working out in a gym. But lately, it's been super cold and gross outside. Here are 5 ways to get a good workout in your living room!

My cat, Dorian, loves yoga!

1. Yoga. I've been doing yoga for over a year, now--and I've never taken a class! Do I have the "perfect" form? Probably not, but I've learned what works for my body and how to listen to what my body needs, so it's worked really well for me. Here are a couple sites I used to get started:

• http://yoga.about.com/
• http://www.yogajournal.com

2. Barre Technique. If you have ever been to a ballet class, you have probably started at the barre. So take it to your workout! It sounds easy, but it is a workout. Make sure you have a mirror and you use correct posture and technique, or you could really hurt yourself. Here's a good site to get you going, but if you don't have an experienced ballet instructor who can check your posture and positions, it might not be a good idea to try it on your own.

• http://dance.about.com/

3. Exercise Ball. This thing is not only great for a workout, but sit on it while you watch TV--your abs and obliques might feel a little sore the next morning! An exercise ball is really good for a variety of exercises. You can target certain areas and also do a full body workout. Here's the most complete list of exercises to try:

• http://www.ball-exercises.com

4. Dance with the Stars. I competed in ballroom a few years ago and loved it! Dancing with the Stars is huge right now and these DVDs are pretty fun. They aren't completely accurate when it comes to "correct" ballroom steps, so don't get good at them and think you know how to dance, but they are really fun to do!

5. Do Housework. Sounds silly, but a few weeks ago, this study came out. In 1965 women did 25.7 hours of housework and in 2010 women only did 13.3 hours of housework. Women in 2010 were, on average, 22 pounds heavier than women were in 1965. So get up off the couch and run a vacuum around your house!

Hope you're staying warm and staying active!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

March Madness: Crochet Edition

At the beginning of the NCAA Tournament I always make sure I watch all the games closely and research every team's stats when I'm not watching the games. I want to make sure that I know as much about the teams who I've picked to win in my bracket, so I can have an informed perspective on all the games. But, after last night's upsets, my bracket is all sorts of screwed up--March Madness has truly arrived! So I'm still watching all the games, but not as closely as I had been, and I'm not doing as much research as I had been doing before last night. 

I love messing around with yarn. I learned how to crochet a month or so ago and have figured out how to make things without patterns. I knit, crochet, or sew a lot while I watch TV. Since I still have somewhere around...45 games left in the NCAA Tournament, I came up with a fun idea: crocheted team logos!

Notre Dame, Louisville, and Cincinnati.

I am a University of Louisville alumnus, so my first try at making something had to be a CardinalBird! I think if I did it again, I would do the beak differently and change the "eyebrow" a little bit because it doesn't look angry enough. 

Louisville Cardinals

I know I've got a lot of people up here in Northern Kentucky and Ohio who are University of Cincinnati fans and, while Louisville fans don't generally like UC, I thought I'd indulge the Bearcat fans a little bit! Also, I'm aware that the claws are off a little bit--if I ever do this again, I'll shift them to the left.

Cincinnati Bearcats

Finally, I needed another team's logo to try, because I didn't want to only post two logos (seemed a little bit pointless) so I thought back to one of the most memorable games of the season: the 5 overtime Louisville vs. Notre Dame game. We lost. Then I thought back to one of the games that felt amazing to win: the Louisville vs. Notre Dame Big East Tournament semi-final. We won! Notre Dame seemed fitting. I like this shamrock--it's cute!

Notre Dame Fighting Irish

If you want to see what your team's logo looks like when it's crocheted, let me know and I'll see what I can do. Also, if anyone wants any of these, please contact me. I can do whatever you want to them to turn them into something useful--I don't want these other logos in my Cardinal household after the Tournament. ;-) 

Hope your team is doing well and you are celebrating in creative ways--like crocheting!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Smart Women Staying at Home

This morning on MSNBC's "Morning Joe" there was a segment about women staying at home vs. women in the work force. I would suggest watching it before reading my article.

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I started college with the goal of graduating with my music education degree, moving to Chicago by myself, teaching inner-city middle school music, and changing the world. I am smart, I am passionate about my beliefs and values, and I am a very quick learner. I had no doubt in the world that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. There hadn't ever been anything I wanted that I didn't work for and get for myself. All I knew was success at the highest level.

Three and a half years through my undergrad, I was still going strong. I was taking graduate level education research classes for fun, I had started competitive ballroom dance to expand my understanding of music and make me a better future educator, and I still had every intention of moving to Chicago and changing education in urban schools.

And then I fell in love. Hard. It wasn't "I love you until we graduate and I leave" like my previous relationships had been. It was "I love you forever." The guy I fell in love with I'd known for 4 years, so it wasn't a "whirlwind romance" or anything crazy like that. But within two months of being with him, I wanted to get married, have kids, and be a stay-at-home mom. I had never seriously thought that in my life. When you're young you think, "Someday I want to get married," and that thought had crossed my mind, but it was never really a part of my plan. Ever.

I went through a crisis: suddenly I, this powerhouse woman who was raised to go after her dreams and test boundaries, was wanting to be domestic?! Why was I presenting my research at state conferences when I wouldn't use it? Why did I hate cleaning the kitchen, but wanted to be a stay-at-home mom? Why had I never changed a diaper and only ever babysat anyone once in my life, but now I wanted kids??

I talked to my boyfriend about it and he was fine with the change in my plan (he didn't really want to move to Chicago, anyway!). Both of us had been raised by very present parents (my mom didn't go back to work until I was 10) and he was thrilled that I wanted to stay at home with our kids!

But I wasn't. How could someone who was on a full scholarship to college and didn't ever touch IQ tests because she was scared of the results being too high (teeny bit arrogant--sorry!) stay at home with kids? How on earth could that possibly be fulfilling for me?! At the same time, having kids and reading to them and playing with them and cleaning up their puke and all the other bodily fluids was suddenly what I wanted more than anything. (Even now as I'm writing this, that last sentence brought tears to my eyes because having a baby or two and getting to be with them is still my greatest hope.)

I started to realize that it was possible for me to have both: a career and a family. I would just teach for a few years after graduation so we could save up some money and then when we decided to have a baby I could quit for a few years so I could stay at home. Once the kids were in elementary school, I could go back to work. Seemed like a pretty good plan; and then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

That was a year ago. I've since gotten engaged to the aforementioned man (He was so amazing to propose to someone with a diagnosis like mine!). We are still planning on having kids, but now we might have to wait longer because I can't teach. I don't have a job (For those of you who saw my post about getting a job last week...she never called me back. Very unhappy about that.) so we are living on one salary, not living on one salary while saving the other salary. I don't even know if I physically can have kids. Fibro patients statistically have more trouble getting pregnant than healthy women. Also, I'm in so much pain at 110 pounds that I don't know what putting another 40 or 50 on would do to me. And then when I have the kid, taking care of them 24/7 might prove to be too much for my stress levels, which means my pain levels would go up and I would be essentially non-contributing to anything. Those will all be bridges to cross in the future.

*Takes deep breath*

So. Like one of the women on the panel this morning said, "Feminism is getting to choose what we want and telling people what we need." I have actually realized in the last year that I like baking, sewing, knitting, designing, and everything else I backed away from because I thought it was too "girly." Even though I had already made the decision that I was going to be a stay-at-home mom when we have kids and now I know I would love it, I feel like my "choice" was made for me a little prematurely.

Joanna Coles, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan, asked today on the panel, "Is there something innate in women that makes us anxious that we can't do it all?" For those of us who have the world at our fingertips and all we have to do it step into it to succeed, yes. Yes, I am anxious that I'm not doing enough in relation to the amount of intellect that I have. But I am doing what I know how to do: succeed. It might not seem like it, because I'm not bringing in a six-figure salary like she is, but progress is success, and I am progressing.

My decision to stay at home with my kids and then my fibromyalgia diagnosis has made my "job" right now very complicated. My job is to find a way to feel fulfilled and contribute to our little family, while not physically shutting down. I'm not getting to contribute financially very much right now, but I'm using the skills I have to build an empire that will be profitable in the next few years. ChickOpinion wasn't in existence seven months ago. Now, I've got over 500 Twitter followers and 60 articles published on an outside website. I have people asking me for help with their writing. I share lesson plan ideas and educators with more degrees than I do love them. And I give women like me hope. Women who had it all...and, through no fault of their own, lost it. We will succeed, because I will settle for nothing less.

So for me, I will be a stay-at-home mom. This is a choice I have made. But I will also be the founder and CEO of my own company (ChickOpinion) and nonprofit (in the works) by the time I'm 30. It might not make millions of dollars and put me on the "30 Under 30 to Watch" list, but it will be immensely fulfilling for me and I will get to read to my kids every day. I will get to see my children take their first steps while helping thousands of women who feel as lost as I did a year ago learn to thrive. How can I see any of my future as a negative? It's everything I could possibly want--and it's the best of both worlds.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Spring Knitting/Crocheting Patterns

Happy First Day of Spring!!! Has spring sprung where you are, yet? It definitely hasn't here! Our high today is only 37 degrees. Brr!

It's cold, so we have to still wear "winter wear." But it's spring, so we want to wear bright, fun colors! I decided that I would share some of my favorite patterns of things to make to keep you warm, but still be fun and cute for spring!

The middle flower.

1. Crocheted Flower Scarf. This is actually a triangle pattern, but I only did the flower in the middle. I'm going to make a bunch of them and join them together as a scarf! This way, if you wrap it around a few times it will keep you warm, but you can still use it when it gets a little warmer because it's so thin.

Fun starburst scarf!

2. Crocheted Starburst Granny Square Scarf. I love this starburst pattern--it's really easy and I just made a few squares and put them together! Make it in crazy bright colors and it'll really pop. 

Don't have time to make it? Pick your own colors and buy it here.









3. Knitted Fun Fur Scarf. This one is very easy:
Pair a regular yarn (mine is orange) with a fun fur (blue).
Optional: Add any other yarn or fiber you want to knit in (I used a string of multi-colored puffballs.). -->
Grab your size 10 needles.
Cast on as many stitches as you want your scarf to be wide. I think this one is 20 stitches wide.
Knit.
Keep knitting until your scarf is as long as you want it to be.
Cast off.
Sew in ends.
Wear with a fabulous attitude!

Who doesn't love fun fur?!

Not in the mood to make it? Buy it here.

It's hard for knitters and crocheters to get excited about spring because we usually can't wear or use what we make--it's too hot! But this year, we've got it in the bag. It's freezing outside and people are looking forward to spring.

So grab your coffee, yarn, and put in a good movie. Happy knitting/crocheting on this chilly spring day!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Graphs and Stats: Twitter

I am obsessed with social media. I blog, tweet, +1, like, pin, and promote everything. Last week I shared this photo of my phone's social media folder. -->

The first thing I do when I wake up at 5:30am is turn my phone on (I sleep with it off so that my brain doesn't get fried by whatever is going in my phone lol), get my new notifications (from everything), and check Twitter.

I blog every morning while I watch the morning news. During that time I'm on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Throughout the day, my phone is with me constantly. I respond to tweets, comments, +1s, messages, repins, and conversations as soon as I get them.

I tweet while I watch live shows like Good Morning Tri-State, Good Morning America, Early Start, Starting Point with Soledad O'Brien, Live with Kelly and Michael, The Lead with Jake Tapper, Piers Morgan Live, and ABC World News. More often than not, I get tweeted by the anchors or the PR of the show!

Last night I was on Twitter during the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars. I don't watch the show (I had to quit when I started ballroom a few years ago--their technique makes me want to die) but Twitter was blowing up during last night's episode. It got me thinking about Twitter and I started Googling stuff about Twitter this morning.

While I was researching I found twitaholic.com. I decided to see my Twitter statistics and found this very interesting stat:

I am the top ranked Twitter user in Northern Kentucky. Me. This blew my mind! 

I realized that my social media networking "strategy" is: tweet. So I started digging for more Twitter stats and found this amazing report from October 2012 by beevolve.com. 

The average user has 208 followers. I have 446 followers. The graph below (from the aforementioned report) shows that I have more followers than over 87% of Twitter users. 

I am, however, below target when it comes to how many followers I have (446) in relation to how many tweets I've tweeted (4,922).

According to our next amazing graph from this beautifully done report, I am in the top 4% when it comes to how many people I follow (1,148).

The other graph I found interesting shows that I'm going about website thing all wrong. Family and technology are the top two categories to talk about on twitter. For women (obviously more of my target audience), the top three categories are family, arts, and entertainment. Maybe I should have named my site "FamilyChick" or "ArtsyChick" or something instead pushing the envelope by trying to have too many opinions.

So, why does finding this out do anything except waste three hours of my morning? It means that now I can have a more targeted approach to Twitter, and so can you! One of my biggest "problems" is that I talk about current issues instead of family, music, and TV. Am I going to start peppering in some more fluff? Sure! Will I start watching Dancing with the Stars to up my ratings? Well, that's a harder question. ;-)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

7 Relationship Tips

You know, there are a lot of things this morning that I have "opinions" about this morning: the premiere of "Dancing with the Stars" (Season 16??? Are we bored yet?), Sarah Palin's speech at CPAC (Why is her juvenile mockery so appealing to people? Putting someone down doesn't make you a leader.), March Madness (My alma mater, Louisville, is the #1 overall seed in the NCAA tournament! Kentucky was snubbed and didn't even make the NCAA tournament!), the Jodi Arias trial (Fascinating!), and the Carnival Cruise line (Why are people still going on these boats??). While those are all fun things to talk about, instead of being snarky and provocative, I would like to take today to talk about love.

For the last two weeks my fiancé, Josh, has been working 12 to 16 hours a day at school. He was the music director for the musical "Oklahoma!" It was fantastic! His kids did a wonderful job and I couldn't be more proud of them or him!

The musical ran from Thursday through Saturday. Our weekly date night is Friday night. Obviously this last week, Friday was completely out: Josh was at school until 10:15pm, I was at home cleaning and watching the Big East tournament semifinals, and we were both exhausted by the time we saw each other. We decided to go to Saturday morning brunch as our date. It was so much fun! We went to IHOP (I know there are political problems with this company--I love their pancakes and I am not going to take a political stand on everything.) and spent literally three hours just talking. It was so great! We talked about his school stuff, neuroscience, ADHD, seeing potential in yourself, and us. Getting to have that weekly time with each other makes it so much easier to be best friends, not just lovers. We are so incredibly lucky to be more in love than almost any other couple we've met!

We got home and cleaned our apartment because our families were coming to the musical on Saturday night. Josh cleaned the kitchen while I did the bathroom and then we blitzed the living room together. The chemistry we have when it comes to getting things done is so good. We know what needs to be done, we know what the other can handle, and we work together to make it happen.

I know that no relationship is perfect, and ours isn't without its flaws; but it is so good! While a lot of what we have does come naturally, we do work at our relationship. Here are the seven most important things I can tell you about being in a successful relationship:

1. Love the quirks. If your significant other's quirks bother you more than make you laugh, that could be a problem. One of Josh's biggest quirks is destroying a made bed just by looking at it. Last night I went to sleep laughing because I had put the bed back together before I brushed my teeth, and it was completely untucked by the time I came back! We were laughing so hard and it sounds silly to anyone else, but if I didn't love him and everything about him, I could have gotten really upset. Obviously, you will get irritated with some of the quirks, but make sure the endearing qualities outweigh the irritating qualities, or you could have some problems on your hands.

2. Have a weekly date. I saw something a couple of weeks ago about how a couple never had a date because they make their kids their priority. Now, obviously, we don't have kids yet so that's not super-relevant, but even when we do have kids, we will still have a weekly time for just us. We have had a weekly date every week since we started dating. They're usually on Friday night but, like last week, sometimes we move our dates around a little bit. Sometimes we are so exhausted by Friday that we just stay in and watch a movie and get Chinese food. Set that time aside for yourselves, though. It makes such a difference. I mean, we spend a lot of time together, but "Date Night" is different than just a night at home. Make it special, make it about you, and make it something you both want to do.

3. Talk with each other. Josh kind of goes nuts sometimes because I talk so much. He also is a bit of a talker. ;-) But we talk about pretty much everything. We know each other's goals, pet peeves, pasts, dislikes, passions, and hopes. I cannot stress enough, just like everyone who has ever said anything about relationships: communication is the key. We barely ever fight. Really! I know that for those of you who  know us, you might be surprised by that because we both have...rather strong personalities, shall I say! But we are always fine tuning our relationship, instead of waiting until something breaks and then fixing it. Some people say, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." I say, "If you are in consistent communication, it won't break." Ha--that's a horrible saying, but you get the message.

4. Be honest. If you are in a truly great relationship, the other person will not write you off if you screw up. You will work through it and move on. So, just be honest with your partner. This is my biggest one. I have trust issues (I know how cliche that sounds, but it's true.) because of things that happened to me a long time ago, not because of anything Josh did. However, if he were ever untruthful to me and then I found out about it, it would probably mess with my head for months. I am a little bit too honest with Josh; he has told me multiple times that he doesn't need to hear every detail of my day. But because of where my head is, I don't ever want to lie to him, even by accident. Josh doesn't tell me every detail of his days, and I'm fine with that. But I know he's honest with me and doesn't hide things or lie to me or anything. If you can't say that about your relationship, that might be the place to start working.

5. Cut your partner some slack. Now, I just want to be clear: I am not as good as this one as Josh is. He is the most patient person I've ever met in my entire life. But I'm learning, and the more flexible I am, the better our relationship gets. Josh cuts me slack all the time because of my fibromyalgia--I don't get as much as I want to done and he is so patient with me. On Saturday when we got home from IHOP, Josh needed 20 minutes for a cat nap before he started cleaning. I let him do his thing and I started cleaning the bathroom while he just relaxed for a while. And then he cleaned the entire kitchen. The "old me" would have been harping and harping and harping at him to clean right when we walked in the door and it would have been a very unhappy experience. Instead, I let him be an adult and make his own decisions, because I knew that he understood what needed to be done. And he was happy about that. And I was, too. :-) It really makes a difference, trust me.

6. Work on yourself. This one can seem counter-intuitive, because talking about a "relationship" makes you think about what you can do for or with the other person. But you cannot have a great relationship with anyone else unless you consistently and constantly work on your relationship with yourself. This is something that I have a very hard time with because I would rather spend all day doing things to make Josh happy than figure out why I'm feeling insecure about something. But if I just ignore that little pinprick going on in the back of my mind, it will manifest itself in crazy ways. You must be honest with both of you: your partner and yourself.

7. Show appreciation for each other. To really show appreciation for your partner, ask them how they feel appreciated. That might sound really silly, but it's not. I feel appreciated when Josh verbally says, "Thank you for..." or "I love the way you..." Josh feels appreciated when I do something like doing the dishes or having the house decently in order. This was a disconnect for us for a long time because I would say things to him like, "Thank you for working so hard" or "I love how dedicated you are to your job" because that's how I feel appreciated. He would do things like go to the store and pick up a few things or fill my car with gas. I appreciated those things, but didn't feel like I was being appreciated, if that makes sense. We actually talked about it a few months ago and realized that we were "appreciating" the other person the way we want to be appreciated. So now, I'm making an effort to do the dishes or something and he is making the effort to verbally acknowledge what I do. We both feel a lot more appreciated. :-)

I hope these tips help some people and I hope that those of you in great relationships just nodded for the last five minutes while you were reading them. :-) There are thousands more tips, of course, but these are just the ones I had at the front of my mind today.

"Be the change you wish to be in the world." --Gandhi

5 Steps to Get from Grumpy to Groovy

I slept terribly last night. I never get enough sleep, and the sleep I do get is always filled with weird dreams (last night was about a hurricane on Lake Ontario...where did that come from?). I woke up this morning in one of the worst moods I've had. It didn't help that the humidity level was at 91%; the higher the humidity level is, the more pain I'm in. The minute I woke up, one of my amazing kittens that I love so much (note the sarcasm) decided it was snuggle time and stuck his wet little nose in my face and would not go away. This was at 5:30 in the morning. I was so grumpy!!!

I've now been up for three hours and am still walking around with a black cloud over my head. My fiancé is working 16-hour days this week, I have to get the house ready for our families when they visit tomorrow, I'm working on our wedding invitations and they're not going well...I could go on all day! 

BUT...I realized that I need to get out of my funk because I have a lot to do today. So here is a five-step process to get yourself out of a funk! Before I write about each of these items, I'm going to actually do it to make sure it helps. :-)

1. Eat something healthy. I just ate a banana and Greek yogurt. Already feeling better!

2. Take a shower. Yes, I just left this for 20 minutes so I could go shower to see if it helps. And it does! Wait a second--did I just catch myself thinking a positive thought?! Uh-oh...! :-)

3. Put on clothes that make you happy and feel good. Leggings and a sweater dress for me today! I know I have to clean and I generally wear jeans to do that, but even though jeans are practical, my skin is so sensitive today that the denim is "hard" and they hurt. Today is about feeling good! :-)

4. Make a list or schedule of your day. Here's mine: dishes, counters, stove, invitations, RSVPs, vacuuming, clutter pick-up, nap. Feeling a little overwhelmed, but at the same time, once I'm done with my list, I get to watch last night's Project Runway!

5. Blast some music to get you going! I have 50 channels of music on my TV and Pandora on my computer. Easy enough to find something to get me pumped up! 

Wow. After about an hour of all this, I am no longer a grumpy grouch! :-) I highly recommend doing this if you're in a funk.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Pi for Kids!

Happy π Day!!! I am a huge fan of Pi! I'm pretty sure I still hold the record at my old high school for Most Memorized Digits of Pi: 279! :-) I had braces that year and for the colored bands on them that month, I assigned each number a color and then had the colors put on my braces in order. Let's just say I wasn't in the "cool club" during high school...I did get my extra credit, though...ha!

I have always loved numbers! For as long as I can remember I've loved patterns in numbers, putting numbers to music, and just messing around with mathematic symbols to make fun things. But kids don't fall in love with numbers very often (most of the time, through no fault of their own--but talking about the way our education system teaches math is for another day!). So I thought that I would take today, it being a math kind of day, to share an awesome way to teach kids about π.

When you verbally ask a kid what "pi(e)" is, they will almost certainly tell you it's a dessert, and then proceed to share their favorite kinds of pie with you. Here's the coolest way to introduce π as 3.14 to kids in a way they will remember.

Write "PI.E" with a pointy "P" and a period between the "I" and the "E". Ask your kids what they read: "pie" should be the answer along with a lot of OCD kids saying that you wrote your "P" wrong and put the period in the wrong place. Be patient with those kids. I was one of those kids. :-)

Hold up a hand mirror to the right of "PIE." Suddenly, "PI.E" becomes "3.14"! Amazement should ensue. 

Do NOT write "PIE" with a rounded "P" or you will get "3.19" which defeats the purpose. Your students will remember what they see first, so if the first thing they associate with "pi(e)" is 3.19, they will struggle with changing that to 3.14.

If you're teaching an entire class this concept and can't get hand mirrors for all your kids, either trade off with the hand mirrors you have or bring in a big mirror and you can do this on the whiteboard or Smartboard and everyone can see! In my experience, kids remember best if they do it themselves, so individual mirrors would definitely be ideal.

Keep in mind that this does not teach your kids that 3.14 is symbolized by "π" or even that 3.14 is "pi" and not "pie." It teaches them aurally that 3.14 is "pi(e)". Have this activity be the attention grabber of your lesson before you continue with the π and explaining irrational numbers and all that.

In one of the captions above, I mentioned that your kids remember what they see first. So that means that they've now associated "p-i-e" with 3.14. This is a good time to introduce the symbol "π".

This is a worksheet/coloring sheet I made where the kiddos can write what kinds of "pie"
the icons represent under each image.

Have your students color the π symbols as if the symbols were the previous kinds of pie. Let them be as creative as they want! If some kid does brown on the apple one and doesn't put a leaf on top, ask why first before giving them no points. They may have been doing a lattice-top apple pie or apple pie filling--neither of which are red or have leaves. If some kid leaves the chocolate one white and then tells you it's a white chocolate pie, don't tell them they have to color it brown. Ask them if there's anything that goes with white chocolate that they could draw inside the symbol (eg. raspberries). If you challenge your smart-alecs to take it a step further, they will become your super-stars. 99% of the time, the reason they're smart-alecs is that they're smart and they're bored. Ask me how I know. :-)

It's fun, it's not complicated for your kids to complete, it's easy for you to grade, and they will start associating the symbol π with "pie." You've shown them "pi" on their worksheet, but you haven't drawn attention to it.

After they're done coloring, put a π symbol on the board and ask them what symbol it is. "Pi(e)" will be the verbal answer. Then ask them how it's spelled. You're going to have one or two kids who actually read the title of the worksheet. Let them be thrilled that they know how to spell it! Write it on the board and ask your students, "Do you like p-i-e more or p-i more?"

Note: If some kid says "p-i" you've got a brown-noser. :-) Just kidding! Don't give them attention for it, though, if they do say, "p-i". The only reason they're saying that when they don't even have a firm grasp on what π is, is to get attention.

Back to the lesson: "Do you like p-i-e more or p-i more?"
"P-I-E!!!"
"So would which one would you want more of, p-i-e or p-i?"
"P-I-E!!!"
"Does p-i-e or p-i have more letters?"
"P-I-E!!!"
"So how do you spell this symbol?" Point to symbol on board.
"P-I!!!"
"How do you spell it?"
"P-I!!!"
"How is this symbol spelled?"
"P-I!!!"

It works out pretty well. Now, if you're introducing π to your class, you've almost certainly introduced the "approximately equals" sign: ≈. So at this point, go ahead and write, "π ≈ " on the board. Ask the class if they remember (from the mirror activity) what number should go there. This is a stretch because your kids have not seen this setup. You should have a couple of kids who remember, though! 

At this point, you can leave it at that and eat your pie (if this is a young class and you're simply celebrating Pi Day), or you can eat your pie while you go on to explain irrational numbers, circumference, or anything else you're planning on talking about that lesson. 

Don't forget to have your pi digit recitation! In elementary school it's very typical for kids to memorize 50 digits for extra credit. Make sure you give your kids a paper of the first 1000 or so digits at least a week before so they know about it and can prepare. And give every kid that memorizes the amount of digits you've set as the minimum extra credit, not just the kid who memorizes the most digits. In high school, it's not typical for kids to memorize any, because by that point in their lives, they have "cooler" things to do. Still, if you make it a competition at the middle and high school levels, you'll get a few bites. Make a trophy, keep tabs on who is the reigning champion of π, do anything you can to make it a thing.

I hope this has helped and gives you all some cool ideas! Do spinoffs, use my stuff, make it better! Make your goal to help kids have fun with numbers! Happy Pi Day! :-)

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Unemployment Rate Drops!

I got a job!!! :-) So, technically that means the unemployment rate has dropped! Yesterday I got asked to interview for and landed a virtual assistant job for an eco-friendly product company out of Brooklyn. It really seems like a perfect fit! It's going to be part-time at first, going to full-time on an as needed basis. 

I've had a long stint of being unemployed...about a year and a half. I quit my receptionist job before my last year at school because I was too busy to work and student teach. Then I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia before I graduated from college, so I didn't get a teaching job after I got my degree because I can't have a job that is so stressful.

When I moved to Florence, KY I started this blog and then two months later, I started my site. So far I've made $11 in ad clicks from them! :-) I've been published by ThoughtfulWomen.org almost 60 times. I started my Etsy shop a few weeks ago, but haven't gotten any sales yet. Even though financially it doesn't look like I'm doing very well, my "brand" is growing! Yesterday I was asked to contribute to a blog because of a tweet I sent. When people I've tweeted have met me in person, they don't know "Kinsey" but when I tell them that I'm "ChickOpinion" they're thrilled to meet me! 

Building a brand takes time, and I'm pretty happy with what I've been able to accomplish in a relatively short time. I am, however, very happy that I get to add a job to the mix so we can have some supplemental income! Unemployment gave me the opportunity to create the ChickOpinion brand and get the ball rolling, but I am not really well-suited for unemployment; not because of the lack of money, but because of a sense of not doing enough for other people.

So, here is my advice for all of you who are unemployed (not by choice): 

• Commit yourself to something and work on it every day. Someone will find you and recognize your work! I didn't even apply for this job--she found me! She needs a social media guru and realized that I'm a good fit. 
• Apply for everything you can. 
• Don't limit yourself to what your degree says you can do. I've applied for everything from assistant positions to social media director positions to online elementary teaching positions. My degree is in K-12 music education. If you think you can do it and it's something you're interested in, go for it!
• Be honest with your potential employers. I was very forthcoming with my new employer about having fibromyalgia and not being able to work 24/7. She ended up being amazingly caring and very cool about it. If you don't have an employer who is going to care about you when they know everything about you, would you really want to work for them?
• Don't give up. You will have hard days and feel like you're never going to be good enough, but it'll be okay.

Sending happy thoughts to everyone today!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

"Preachers' Daughters" Reality Show--What Could Go Wrong?

A new show is starting tonight on Lifetime: "Preachers' Daughters." It's about adolescent daughters of preachers, how they want "freedom," their daddies are super-strict on them, and then there is lots of lying, crying, arguing, and the girls showing off how nuts they are because they are "preachers' daughters." Sounds totally logical and not like a train-wreck at all, right?

I am not technically a PK (preacher's kid). I am, however, an MK (missionary's kid) whose dad preached occasionally. My parents have worked for the Presbyterian Church for 13 years. I lived overseas in a third-world country (Vanuatu) with them for five years and moved back to the States when I was 16, where I was put into a big-city public school. Nothing can go wrong there...ha!

I went through my rebellious phase while I struggled with anorexia and an abusive relationship--all in high school. In college, my first three years were just as hard. I had too many "relationships," struggled with taking things seriously, and tried on different identities to see where I could fit in.

So, did I go through all of this because my parents were missionaries? No. Can kids kind of go off the deep end when they feel like there are expectations that they cannot reach? Absolutely.

I absolutely cannot imagine having to do everything I went through with cameras and a million people watching my every move. This show has the potential to make the girls' lives a lot harder than it already is. Regardless of what everyone says about "reality" TV, we all know that we act differently when we know people are watching us. Teenage girls feel that pressure multiplied by 1000 because they usually assume that everyone is watching them all the time anyway!

If anyone feels like this show is a bad idea, please tell Lifetime. I am not against this show just because I think the premise is stupid--I think that it actually has potential to be dangerous for these young girls, as well as the PKs and MKs who will watch it. If Lifetime and these girls' parents won't take responsibility for their safety, the public should.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

5 Easy Ways to Feel Great on International Women's Day

Happy International Women's Day! In honor of today, here are 5 ways to feel amazing without going through too much trouble.

1. Give yourself a quick manicure. If you have a favorite color of nail polish, break it out! If you don't like nail polish that's okay, too! Give yourself a nail soak, use an orange stick to *gently* push back your cuticles, and then take a nail file to the rough edges of your nails. Clean and even nails are a great way to feel great in 5 minutes!

2. Do 15 minutes of yoga. In silence. What woman isn't overwhelmed?! Turn off the TV, radio, and iPod, grab your yoga mat, and breathe in a quick, calming workout!

3. Straighten your house in 3 songs. Whether you're a working woman, stay-at-home mom, or somewhere in between, a lot of us have the instinct of wanting a clean house but we really don't like cleaning. Put Pandora on your favorite station, crank it up, and straighten up your house for three songs. You'll be surprised at how much it actually helps!

4. Do something for only yourself. We tend to spend our lives helping everyone around us and ignoring ourselves. What is the one thing you used to do by yourself that you miss most from when you were single or before you had kids or before you got a job? Take 10 minutes and do it!

5. Do something for the women you love. We do help the people around us, and we like doing it! So today, do something for the women in your life that you love. Maybe a phone call, a text, or an email just to see how they're doing would be nice. Or if you want to step it up, flowers or chocolate are always appreciated. Well, almost always...find out what that woman's stance on chocolate is before you give her a box of it! ;-)

Have a wonderful day celebrating yourself and the women in your life!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

Women's Rights: Best Represented by Vagina Billboards?

On a Montana Christmas morning in seventh grade, I got a pin that said, "This is what a RADICAL FEMINIST looks like." I wore it to school my first day back because I knew I would get attention for it. My best friend at the time was raised in an incredibly conservative household and he and I argued politics during our Civics class all the time. Sure enough, within the first three minutes of Civics, we had a very heated argument going. My teacher told me to take my new pin off. I refused, since it's my First Amendment right to wear it, and got sent to the office. They sent me back to class (with the pin on), told me not to cause trouble, and told him to regain control of his own classroom.

Recently, the University of Cincinnati Feminists and the University of Cincinnati LGBTQ groups have combined their efforts to create a project: "Re-envisioning the Female Body." This project consists of 12 temporary billboards with giant photographs of vaginas that will be placed outside a building on the University of Cincinnati's campus for four hours apiece on Thursday and Friday. According to this article by Kendall Herold of WCPO, the reason the students give for this project on their Facebook page is "to combat social inequalities and abuses through the use of our vaginas as a form of collective resistance to oppression and to claim our positions as individuals with unique experiences, perceptions, and needs" and "to call attention to the vagina as a site of conflict in medical, legislative, domestic, and representational arenas." Author's Note: I would highly recommend against going to the Facebook page that is linked at the end of the aforementioned article. Their main photo seems to be one that will be featured on a billboard.

The president of the University of Cincinnati issued this statement yesterday, saying that the billboards will be allowed on campus because UC is "a public institution obligated to protect the First Amendment, even--perhaps especially--when that protection results in disagreement." While this is understandable, I don't know how legal it is; not because of the nature of the First Amendment, but because of laws against public nudity. I don't expect the president of UC to be well-versed in these laws, but I do expect the Cincinnati police department as well as university attorneys to look into it.

I'm still incredibly invested in women's rights, but a decade after the seventh grade pin incident, I no longer see myself as a "radical feminist." This is radical and, in my not entirely humble opinion, completely misses the point of being women's rights activists! If women want to draw attention to our rights and try to move forward in changing our society so that we have equality, we cannot be so stupid. If we are trying to have men and other women take us seriously, showing giant vaginas with "personal stories under each one" for eight hours on a public university campus is hardly the way to accomplish this! It is important--so important--to have our voices heard, but it is equally important that we conduct ourselves so that we can retain the respect that women who have come before us have fought for and won!

As women who desperately want equality in our "medical, legislative, domestic, and representational arenas," would it not serve us better to put our energies and talents toward earning our degrees in medicine, in political science, or in anything else in which we want equality, than throwing around photos of our privates in a manner that suggests we care more about making a scene than affecting change? This will not change anything. Anything. 

There are, however, some things that we, not as women, but as citizens, can do that will affect change:

• Research the positions of your governments (local, state, and federal) on issues regarding your body, your salary, and any other matters about which you are concerned.
• If you don't like any of the positions that your elected leaders have taken on one of the previously mentioned topics, let them know. You can't just rant about something on Facebook or Twitter and expect it to change. You can rant about something on Facebook or Twitter, write or call your elected leaders, and then expect it to change (in time, with a fight, and your continued haranguing of your leaders).
• Call your healthcare providers and insurance companies to find out what is covered in your healthcare plan. 
• Find out if your male counterparts at your job are making the same salary you are. If they are, great! If not, you need to decide whether you'll take it up with your employer or not.

Here is the best thing, in my opinion, we can do to affect change:

• If there is something about which we are unsatisfied because it illuminates inequality between the sexes and we want it to change, we must take action. We must take action! But (and I wish I could emphasize the gravity of "but" more than just putting it in italics!) we must ensure that the action we take is intelligent and is relevant and, beyond everything else, does not take away from the reason for the action.

It is my opinion that the UC Feminists and LGBTQ groups have gone out of their way to create a shocking scene with "Re-envisioning the Female Body." And it will be shocking. This project will get attention. It already has gotten close to 15 minutes of air time on our local ABC station alone. But will it get attention for what the supposed point of this project is? I really don't know that it will. It will be remembered, but not for a gain for women's rights; it will be remembered for 12 giant vaginas and possibly a lawsuit.

I am so impassioned about my rights, about all women's rights, but passion alone does not create change. It must be accompanied with reason, with purpose, and with strategy, none of which that can possibly be misconstrued as emotional or confused and so take away from the intention of the initial passion and function of the action.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi